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MY life is moving backwards and I feel so depressed. My ex-girlfriend and I split in February.
I tried to keep our old flat on by myself, but the rent became too much so I was forced to hand the keys back to the landlord.
Now I’m back home with my mum and dad and feel such a loser. I’m sleeping in my childhood bedroom, only my mum has converted it into a sewing room so I’m surrounded by half-finished curtains.
I couldn’t bring a girl back here even if I could find one to have me.
I’m only allowed to live here rent free if I do all the washing up and a host of other chores. I feel humiliated and small, especially as my ex already has a new, super-rich lover.
MY family is rubbish. They are the most useless, needy bunch of idiots I’ve ever come across.
Everything of any importance is left to me to sort out.
From problems with the council and hospital appointments to troublesome relatives, I’m sick of being the go-to-guy/muggins.
My mum is the world’s biggest hypochondriac and wimp. She’s never well and never stops complaining.
She’s utterly exhausting to be around because everything is about her and she doesn’t ever ask me how I am. Then there is my sister who lurches from one useless boyfriend to another.
Drunk
At the moment she’s pregnant with her fifth child. The father doesn’t want to know. So, inevitably, she’s relying on me to sort him out.
My vain, arrogant dad has always drunk too much, gambled and cheated on my mum with other women. He’s constantly on at me for money and it’s got to the point where I can’t stand the sight of him any more.
Any time my phone rings and I see his name I recoil in horror. I’m nearly 30 and just don’t feel I have any kind of a life.
My long-standing girlfriend is lovely, but she’s sick of me neglecting her while I run around after my dysfunctional folks.
We’ve not had sex or spent a night together in ages because I’m exhausted and just don’t feel sexy enough. I try to be helpful and sympathetic with my family, but they bring all of their problems on themselves.
The minute I give them an inch they take a mile. My mum has been told to stop smoking and to lose 3st in weight only she won’t.
My dad has been warned that the drink will eventually kill him and my sister can’t be dissuaded from bad men.
I’m just a normal, boring bloke. I try and work hard and behave decently. I don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve this bunch.
JANE SAYS: Think positively, at least you have a warm place to sleep and a roof over your head.
While you’re with your folks, you can save up and get your finances back in order.
Ask if you can decorate your old room to give yourself a fresh, adult space and talk to your parents about chores, rent and a fair division of housework.
They’ll welcome you more if you respect their rules and routines. Don’t forget this is tough for them too; they’ve moved on and have plans of their own.
Have a long-term plan, because you can’t allow yourself to spiral into misery. Go and see your GP if you’re depressed or call The Samaritans on 116 123. JANE SAYS: Never forget that you’re entitled to your own life too. Don’t allow yourself to be dragged down and overburdened, because everyone makes their own choices in this world.
It’s tragic that your mum is unhappy and unwell, but if she won’t accept that she has to stop smoking and lose weight, then how are you expected to help her?
Your father may well drink in reaction to the atmosphere around him, but he’s an adult too.
Surely he realises that drinking and cavorting with a variety of other women isn’t doing an ounce of good? I realise that you love your sister, but if you’ve all begged her not to have any more children with unreliable men, then anything that happens in future will be a result of the choices she makes.
You have to accept that you can’t really change anything and that this is your time now.
I can’t imagine that your longsuffering girlfriend is going to be prepared to wait for you for ever.
Unless you start showing her some commitment and love, then your whole life is going to get a whole lot worse.
Stop this cycle of family dependency and start living.