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I SHOULD never have listened to my former brother-in-law when he told me he knew of a way to make a shed-load of money.
Now I’ve lost £5,000 and it’s all his fault.
He was the one who persuaded me to invest in his mate’s scheme. He promised I’d triple my money and make a killing.
Now I can’t get him on the phone and my sister says he’s moved away to live with his new girlfriend.
He swore blind that this scheme wouldn’t fail and that I’d go on to make millions if I kept investing in it.
Now I haven’t even got enough money to pay my bills.
I’m so ashamed and feel so embarrassed.
How do I get my money back?
MY new partner has confessed she doesn’t like sex.
I’m mortified and very confused. Why didn’t she care to mention this before we moved in together?
I thought that sharing the same bed every night would naturally mean sex every night, but she totally disagrees.
She thinks it’s gross of me to expect her to “perform” just because she’s naked and by my side.
And she says I should learn to restrain myself and show respect, because – if she has to endure intercourse at all – then once a week is her limit.
I’ve tried to explain that I love and desire her and enjoy expressing that love physically.
Roses
But then she accuses me of having unrealistic expectations.
Two weeks ago I took her away for a romantic weekend to celebrate our love. I paid extra for the honeymoon suite, for champagne and roses.
On arrival I suggested we take a dip in the spa pool. She wasn’t interested. Then I tried to crack open the champagne, only she said it was too early and she had a headache.
In the end we got burgers on room service and she slept on the bathroom floor because she was hot. We didn’t make love once.
In the car on the way home we screeched like parrots and she finally confessed that she doesn’t like sex at all.
She finds it messy and unnecessary. She only ever does it to please me and keep the peace. This is not the kind of relationship that I signed up to.
None of my ex-girlfriends were like this. I’ve got a horrible feeling that I’ve made a dreadful mistake in signing a lease on a flat with this ice maiden – and letting her into my life at all. I feel stuck. What’s my next move?
JANE SAYS: If you’ve been conned, you have to tell the police.
If your ex-brother-inlaw is going around making fraudulent claims, he needs to be stopped and dealt with.
Swallow your pride, go to your local police station and tell them everything you can.
Unfortunately, there are no “get-rich-quick” schemes. If this man’s con was some kind of illegal pyramid selling number, then it was doomed to failure.
Check out the Crimestoppers website crimestoppers-uk.org for more information on these and what to do next.
Will you get your money back? I think it’s unlikely. Will you learn from this experience? Let’s hope so.
Admit your mistake to anyone you owe money to and get help in sorting out those bills. JANE SAYS: Did your girlfriend really mean all the things she said on that fraught car journey home from the hotel?
I feel you need to have another, more serious, conversation with her in the cold light of day. Is she willing to meet you halfway?
Agree to sex every other night? Or even think about going back to basics and starting again?
Equally, does she need you to be less demanding and more considerate of her feelings?
I wonder if things were said in the heat of the moment that might not be quite so true now.
However, if you both accept that you really aren’t suited to each other after all, and that compromises can’t be made, then vow to be adult about cutting your losses and going your separate ways. I understand that you’ve taken on a flat, but that doesn’t bind you together for ever.
Go back and look at the terms of your agreement and speak to your landlord or agent and see what your options are.
Maybe she could move out and you could get a mate to move in?
Alternatively, you might need to look for somewhere new. The fact is that not all relationships work out as we think they’re going to.
Moving in together has made you and your girlfriend realise that maybe you didn’t know each other well enough in the first place.