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MY husband has always been a cheat and a liar.
He had sex with my chief bridesmaid during our wedding and gave me a sexually transmitted infection only a month into our marriage.
Now he creeps around like a cat in the night and thinks I don’t know that he has a dozen tarts around town. He visits them in strict rotation.
I’m not stupid and feel deeply insulted that he continues to lie, cheat and attempt to pull the wool over my eyes.
The other night he came back with a black eye and told me a ridiculous story about being attacked at a cash machine, but he’d obviously been beaten up by an angry lover.
My mum died in November and left me a large sum of money. I’m seriously contemplating my future as a single woman.
I FEAR my new love is trying to trap me.
I like her a lot. We have some brilliant times together.
We’re both into extreme sports and love powerboat racing, rock climbing and triathlons.
We met when I was competing in an Ironman challenge and haven’t looked back since. We work hard, play hard and love hard too.
But I’m simply not interested in starting a family or even living with her because I relish my new-found freedom.
I was badly burnt by an ex-partner who left me in 2015 and I like my own downtime.
Flattered
Yet my girlfriend keeps going on about feeling broody. She constantly tells me about colleagues who are having children.
When I call her out on it, she insists she’s only joking and winding me up, but it frustrates and disappoints me that she simply doesn’t listen to a word I say.
My mate (who has known of her for a few years) reckons I’m a fool for allowing myself to be flattered and sucked in.
He insists she’s got an agenda and I’m playing with fire every time I jump into bed with her.
I know she’s not a gold digger because she’s got a great, wellpaid job working for a large international company.
I keep telling my mate to mind his own business, but, privately, his warnings are ringing in my ears.
Perhaps she is simply using me as a sperm donor and I’m easy prey? If I’m absolutely honest, it’s getting to the point where I’m actually frightened to have sex with her in case it’s a trick.
She has told me she’s on the Pill and therefore I don’t need to use condoms, but can I actually trust the woman?
JANE SAYS: You’ve put up with too many years of nonsense from your husband.
I suspect you stayed in the family home out of a sense of duty, but now you have some money you can be free.
No-one deserves the level of humiliation that your cheating husband has heaped on you.
He’s a revolting, selfish individual. You owe it to yourself to reclaim the rest of your life.
Who knows, maybe you’ll even find love again with a new individual who understands the meaning of the words loyalty and respect? JANE SAYS: I urge you to look your girlfriend in the eye and tell her you are not interested in setting up home with her or starting a family.
Explain that you’re not being boring or miserable – and certainly aren’t playing hard-to-get – you’re simply being honest about what you want.
She has to understand you mean what you say and if you aren’t going to give her what she craves (ie lasting commitment, a new home and children), then she needs to move on in order to find someone who is.
It goes without saying that you cannot have any more unprotected sex with her.
If you using a condom every time upsets or insults her then you need to talk some more.
I don’t think anyone is suggesting she’s a gold digger and, therefore, after your money, but the heavy hints she’s dropping do suggest she’s definitely ready for motherhood.
All this talk of pregnant colleagues smacks of testing the water. The problem is you’re fresh out of a difficult relationship and looking for peace, while she’s set on the next stage of her female journey.
Yes, you both love your sports and might even consider yourselves adrenaline junkies, but are you actually suited on a personal and emotional level? That’s what needs to be resolved.