MY girlfriend asked me to marry her on our first date.
She dropped to one knee and said she loved me while we walked through a local park.
I was flattered but laughed off her proposal thinking it was a joke.
Several weeks down the line, she won’t stop going on about setting a wedding date.
She tells everyone she’s my wife (and is unofficially using my surname) but I’ve not even introduced her to my family.
I love the girl, our sex life is amazing – she does things that blow my mind. But how do I get her to calm down and take one day at a time?
My best mate says I need to take care, but my girl insists that he’s only jealous of what we have.
MY husband – the love of my life – has left me for another man.
This is such a slap in the face. I feel so humiliated and lost.
They’re living as a committed couple and his sister has admitted that they have already discussed having children.
We’re going for a quickie divorce and I already know I’ll get a good settlement.
But my ex is telling everyone who will listen that he has never been happier. Apparently he has been living a lie for most of his life and finally feels free.
I still love him but I’m struggling to get over the fact that he moved straight from our bed into the arms of someone else.
I just never saw any of this coming. He had loads of girlfriends before we met and married 10 years ago and he once had a reputation for being a bit of a heartbreaker.
But now he seems happy in a gay relationship and I’m struggling to move forward.
Admittedly our sex life tailed off a couple of years ago, but I put that down to the fact that we’d been together for so long.
Everyone keeps telling me that I should get over myself and stop making such a fuss.
More then one friend has suggested I “get back in the saddle” by having wild sex with blokes off the internet, but that’s not my scene at all.
I don’t want strangers in my bed, I don’t even want my ex back in my bed. But what I really want are answers. What I can’t get over is how he wasn’t honest with me about his true sexuality from the start.
If he knew that he was gay, then why marry me at all and put me through this humiliation and heartbreak?
I know his lover – he and I used to work together and he’s a nice chap. He came out when he was a teenager, so I respect him because he’s never tried to hide his true self.
JANE SAYS: Sounds like your mate has his head screwed on right.
Protect yourself by backing off and insist on a little space. I’m sure she is absolutely lovely, but this is all too much too soon.
I accept that whirlwind romances are a fact of life, but if you fear that she’s backing you into a corner, you owe it to yourself to call time.
The last thing you want is to be saddled with someone who sucks all the life out of you and marches you down the aisle before you’re ready.
I suspect she’ll show her true colours when you suggest a break, so keep a very open mind and prepare yourself for anything.
Remember you are a free agent and don’t owe anyone anything. JANE SAYS: The bottom line is that your marriage is over and your husband isn’t coming back. He’s moved on and now you must too.
Of course you’re confused, unhappy and frustrated. I suspect that you and your ex were guilty of burying your heads in the sand for a very long time.
He now admits that he suppressed his true sexuality and it makes me wonder whether the pair of you were just attempting to hold the marriage together by a thread.
But you can’t allow yourself to become bitter and twisted because you’re worth more than that. With divorce it’s time for a clean break and a new chapter of your life is opening out before you.
Your husband is no longer your concern. He can marry anyone he likes and go on to be a father.
As you say you’re going to get a decent settlement when your divorce comes through, take your money and start planning your new life on your own terms.
Try to focus on the positives and start looking forward. Many years have already been wasted – make sure that you never waste another second.