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MY girl and I haven’t had sex for months.
The problem is she feels that I’ve let her down. I’ve got a female friend, who my girlfriend resents.
This girl and I have known each other for years.
We have a textbased relationship that sometimes goes a bit over the top.
A while ago, my girl found a string of texts in which my mate said she fancied me. We had a massive row and I changed my number.
But then this girl got my new number and the messages started again.
My partner caught me texting her and forced me to choose between her and my mate.
Naturally I chose her, but we haven’t had sex since. Now I can’t help wondering whether she’s getting it elsewhere and cheating on me.
I’M too frightened to tell my married lover that I’m pregnant. I just don’t know how he’ll react.
When we first met in 2014 he seduced me by saying he wanted me to have his babies.
But he has never mentioned children since and once, quite recently, he told a screaming toddler in a pub garden to “shut up”.
He and his wife have never had children of their own. Apparently they tried when they first got married, but it didn’t work out.
Now she has her charity work and he has his career. We both work in the same industry and our paths cross all the time.
He comes over to my place for a sex a couple of times a week and we’re amazing together. We love a drink, a play fight and sex toys.
Stomped
He says that I’m his soulmate. I never planned to get pregnant. I’ve been on the Pill for years and thought I was covered.
I was ill with the flu a couple of weeks ago and wonder if that affected my system. Now I’ve done a dozen pregnancy tests and they were all positive.
I’m absolutely terrified. There’s no way that I would ever have an abortion. But what if my man turns against me?
What if he tells me that he doesn’t want to have anything more to do with me or our child?
Then there’s the problem of his wife. How might she react to our news?
The other night he was here again. He attempted to make love to me and I pushed him away, but couldn’t bring myself to tell him why. In the end he stomped home calling me frigid.
He all but said that if I wasn’t willing to have sex with him, then he’d find someone else who was.
Now I’m worried that I’ve upset him. What if there’s a younger, prettier version of me in his office who is waiting in the wings to take my place?
JANE SAYS: It’s vital that you two sit down and thrash this out, otherwise I don’t see the point in you staying together.
At the moment you both sound as if you are as miserable as each other.
The fact is you have no evidence that she has someone else, so put that right out of your mind.
But you do know that you’re the one who betrayed her trust by flirting with your mate.
Grow up and apologise again for playing the fool.
Ask her what you can do to make things right again. Is a fresh start an option? If it isn’t, then do you even have a future together? JANE SAYS: I’ve got a horrible feeling that the man is only after one thing – sex.
And he seems to become very frustrated and childish if he doesn’t get it. Just how much love or respect does he actually have for you?
Is the truth of the matter that your relationship is based purely on sex and fuelled by booze?
Sadly, I think you can safely assume he’s not going to be very happy to hear that you’re pregnant with his child.
And I very much doubt if his childless wife will be jumping up and down either.
You can’t put this off any longer. If you are certain that you’re pregnant and are determined to keep your baby, then tell your lover today – or this stress will seriously start to affect your health.
Invite him over, sit him down and reveal all. Don’t apologise. Be honest and tell him what you want from him.
Above, all make it clear that you wish him to be fully involved in the life of your child.
You never meant this to happen, but now it has you both need to find the joy in this situation.
Ultimately, you cannot allow him to bully you or push you over your limits. It’s time for you to be strong for the sake of your vulnerable, unborn child.