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I CAN’T stand the sight of our new neighbour. She’s loud, crude and outrageous.
I’ve seen her at a couple of parties and found her a complete pain. Yet my husband thinks she’s absolutely hilarious.
He roars that she’s the funniest and cleverest woman he’s met in a long time (thanks) and keeps going over there and hanging out with her.
I consider her a bad influence and fear for our relationship.
She’s a big drinker. She’s been divorced twice and takes recreational drugs.
Someone also said she has convictions for shoplifting and fraud. My bloke insists that she’s misunderstood and harmless.
I WORRY that my posh lover is just using me for sex.
She’s married with a rich husband who is always abroad. She’s the got the flash house, 4x4 motor and her kids live with her mother.
She’s all long legs, blonde streaks and big boobs. She works out every day and does a lot of yoga. As a result she’s fit, beautiful and very bendy.
Our sex life is off the scale. She’s unbelievably dirty. She loves me to do the kind of kinky stuff that you see on websites.
I’ve never met anyone with such an appetite for sex toys and naked romps all over her house.
At the moment I’m covered in bruises from a recent bonk on her granite worktops.
Minted
Her late dad was some kind of aristocrat and her mum is minted. She’s never invited me to meet any of her clan.
I’m her grubby secret, but I’m getting a bit sick of being shoved in the shadows.
The fact is that I do everything for her. From maintaining her house and fixing anything that’s wrong to servicing her sexual needs, I’m more of a husband to her than her absent bloke.
Do I get any respect? Do I heck! If anything, she talks down to me calling me thick and uneducated.
The other day I put on a suit to visit the bank manager and she laughed that I looked like a caveman in a tie.
Then she expected me to take her to bed even though I felt very hurt. Sometimes I worry she might be too good for me. I’m only an ordinary bloke. I’ve had a few girlfriends in my time, but no-one as classy as her.
What’s my next move? Dare I ask her to leave her husband and shack up with me?
She’s always saying he’s boring and ugly. She’s convinced that he sleeps with sex workers – both male and female – when he’s away and claims that they no longer have anything in common.
JANE SAYS: There are some people we don’t take to and we have to trust our instincts.
If this neighbour makes you feel insure and worried, you must speak out. Others may find her amusing, but you don’t.
You need to tell your husband you’re not trying to be controlling or unreasonable, but this woman has too much baggage to make you feel comfortable.
From the drink and drugs through to the previous convictions, if you had to pick out anyone to be friends with, then she wouldn’t be on your list.
Ask him to see things from your point of view.
Remind him you have a good relationship and that you don’t want anyone to spoil that.
Suggest doing more things together in future, What about planning a trip? JANE SAYS: Get real. One thing your lover and her husband have in common is money. Do you honestly think she’s going to give up her house and her gilded lifestyle on a whim? Come on.
This woman is a thrill-seeker and a leech. She is used to getting her own way. From packing her kids off to her mother to maintaining her figure, all she cares about is herself and her own happiness.
Don’t be too quick to put her on a pedestal. Maybe she does speak with a cut-glass accent, but referring to you as a “bit of rough” and laughing at your attempt to look smart mark her out as very rude in my book. I worry that someone like her might end up patronising and using you.
Don’t be taken in by her. Remember that you are her equal and that she is by no means your better.
There’s also the matter of her “baggage”. If she has children and an ex-husband, then her life won’t be without its compromises and challenges.
Weekend visits, money wrangles, extended family? Do you really want to get involved?
Every minute spent with her is a minute you could be looking for someone who really loves and cares for you.