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HOLLYWOOD has been churning out Stephen King films for nearly 40 years.
But only Carrie and Misery have really captured the spirit of his full-length novels.
The most successful adaptations – The Shawshank Redemption, Stand By Me and The Mist – were based on short stories. So, what to do with his sprawling, sci-fi, fantasy Western series The Dark Tower?
The sensible answer would be knock on the door of Netflix with plans for several seasons of bigbudget, must-see TV.
A far more reckless plan would be try to squeeze King’s nine books into one 95-minute family blockbuster. Sadly, that plan is the only brave thing about director Nikolaj Arcel’s crushingly familiar film.
A super-powered kid travels to a magical realm to stop an evil wizard from ending the universe. Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor) is an 11-year-old plagued with visions of a dark tower since his dad’s death. He’s also seen a villain (Matthew McConaughey) who goes by both The Man In Black and Walter, and his sworn enemy The Gunslinger (Idris Elba, right, with Tom), aka Roland.
Jake is convinced their battles over the mysterious tower have something to do with earthquakes that have rocked New York. As the adults don’t believe him, the lad has to go it alone.
In between action scenes, Arcel throws in flashbacks and clunky speeches to explain King’s fantasy world. But with that brutal running time, there was never going to be enough time to apply any shading to the characters. The writer’s wild imagination has been flattened for a quick shot at a family hit.