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MY partner takes herself very seriously.
She elevates the concept of self-importance to the next level. She is an incredibly intense human being.
She has a loud voice and her opinions are set in stone.
She’s a great one for taking offence and bearing a grudge. From politicians who annoy her to colleagues who she doesn’t believe pull their weight, she’s invariably angry about something.
I increasingly find her overwhelming and a little tedious.
How do I get her to calm down and be normal, without her accusing me of being soulless and bland?
There’s only so much passion and drama I can take and I’m up to my limit.
SEX with my daughter’s teacher was just mindblowing. But now I’m dreading September.
What if he ignores me in the playground? What if other mums find out about our fling and shun me?
We had our first sexual encounter after a school disco last May.
He offered me a lift home and I invited him in for coffee.
Within seconds we were ripping each other’s clothes off and making passionate love.
I told him I’d fancied him for ages and he said I was the sexiest mum around. He gave me four fantastic orgasms on the trot.
For the next few weeks we sent texts to each other and phoned and met up for great sex.
I was distraught when he took the Year Six class to Dorset for a week and I couldn’t see him.
Cried
I imagined him getting drunk with the other teachers and laughing about me behind my back.
But he came back into my arms telling me that he had missed me like crazy.
I last saw him on the final day of term and cried like a baby. He’s been in America all summer working at a kids’ camp. I fantasise about him all the time.
I send over explicit, naked shots of myself, which he absolutely loves.
But what if he’s cheating on me with an American? What if he’s playing me along?
The new term is looming and I feel like a nervous teen.
When I’ve got my sensible head on, I tell myself that I shouldn’t pursue my love and that our relationship is both one-sided and inappropriate.
Then I have a drink and drop my guard and want him all over again. My nerves are in shreds.
He swears that he doesn’t regret our association and promises we will be together again soon but I’m losing faith and confidence.
I want him so much yet it feels as though my life is on hold.
JANE SAYS: What about laughs, fun and mischief? Your relationship sounds a very dry affair.
You need to be honest with your partner about balance.
It’s impressive that she has a strong social conscience and interesting views, but there has to be some light and shade.
Tell her you’d like some downtime – some silliness and frivolity too. Ban all political or “heavy” conversation from the bedroom.
And maybe have a pre-arranged code word you can utter whenever she gets too carried away with herself? You are entitled to speak your mind too.
If she’s seriously doing your head in, then do you both even have a viable future? JANE SAYS: Your “sensible head” is absolutely right. This on/off fling you’re having with the teacher at your daughter’s school is badly advised and inappropriate.
I accept that you like him and can’t stand to be apart, but you and he crossed a line the night he came and had sex in your home.
If he’s got an ounce of grey matter, then he’ll have come to his senses and realise that having sex with a parent isn’t ethically or professionally acceptable.
I urge you to take a step back, look at the cold, hard facts and tell yourself that you will never contact him again.
Of course you’re confused and upset. The passion you shared was thrilling and exciting. But sadly, you and he can’t have a future together while your daughter is still at the school.
Don’t get bitter or angry, but do vow to move on from here. Find someone new and love again.
If nothing else, this episode has boosted your sexual confidence.
It has made you realise that you are an attractive and desirable woman who deserves love and commitment in a proper, open relationship.
You’ve spent too many months since May hiding in the shadows. Start this term with a clean sheet.