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ANOTHER man is attempting to steal my girlfriend.
This slug has been sniffing around her for months and I’m at breaking point.
She’s flattered by his money and his attention. I feel powerless to repel him because he’s so much richer and more charismatic than I am.
Recently I went round to her flat to find them in her bed.
I tried to say something but he said: “Just leave, will you.” So I did.
I left like a wimp and I hate myself for being so weak.
My girl has promised me many times he means nothing to her, that they just “muck about” and don’t have intercourse.
IS my girlfriend staying or going? I just don’t know where I stand any more.
She keeps telling me that she doesn’t know what her plans are from next month.
But her friends insist that she’s moving to Los Angeles and has a new job and apartment lined up.
They say I need to wake up and prepare myself for the fact that I’m going to be a single man again very soon.
Well, I’d love to discuss all of this with my woman, but she’s more slippery than an eel.
She simply won’t tell me what is going on in her life. Every time I ask her to level with me she orders me to be patient because “everything is still up in the air”.
I know for a fact that she is required to give three months’ notice at her job, because I used to work at the same firm.
Crazy
So, if she is planning to move on next month, then her boss must be aware of what she’s up to.
Why am I the last to know? If she is shipping out for the States, then where does that leave me?
I’ve got all sorts of crazy theories racing around in my head right now. Has she met someone else online? Is she having nightly cyber sex behind my back?
But any question like this is met with a swift: “Don’t be so stupid.”
We’re still having sex, but I feel like we’re going through the motions. It feels like she’s giving me charity bonks – that she’s doing me a favour out of guilt.
The other day I offered to book a romantic Christmas break and she fobbed me off. All I want to do is prove to her that I love her and need her to stay by my side.
But what can I say when the woman I love won’t be straight with me about our future?
JANE SAYS: To walk in and find another man in your girl’s bed must have been shocking.
Surely she must accept how unfair and cruel she is? What’s she going to do next? Bring him round to your place for dinner?
It’s never too late to start over, because this is your life and it’s the only one you’re going to get. Every day is precious. Sadly, your girl is untrustworthy.
How can she guarantee that she won’t hurt and humiliate you again when you can’t believe a word she says?
Currently she’s enjoying the best of both worlds and is probably thoroughly enjoying the attention and the drama.
Reclaim your life and start walking.
The next few weeks may be tough, but you can’t go on like this. JANE SAYS: Your evasive girlfriend may feel she’s being terribly clever, but this is your life and you deserve to know where you stand.
If she really won’t tell you the truth, then speak to the friends who seem to know so much more and piece together as much of this story as you can. Ultimately, you can’t allow her to mess you around for a minute longer because you’ve got a life to lead and plans to make.
Sadly, if it turns out that this American move is a done deal and that she’s got a new life all sorted, I suggest you bow out gracefully.
I strongly suspect she’s guilty of taking the coward’s way out and is playing for time.
Presumably she’s planning to leave all of the details to the very last minute so that she doesn’t have to deal with too many questions – and tears – from you. Of course, it is always sad when things come to an end and we always hope that people will treat us with fairness and honesty, but you cannot allow your girlfriend to make a mug of you.
If she thinks that she can still enjoy the last few days of summer in your arms, then she’s obviously got a shock coming.
Toughen up and start calling the shots. Stop having sex and tell her that you’re disappointed and sad.
Then concentrate on building a new future, because you have to conclude that she’s got her own agenda.