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A YOUNG couple opposite are taking advantage of me.
They’re only in their early 20s, but are unable to drive or use public transport.
They don’t like walking either.
Neither are disabled or disadvantaged – they’re just not very motivated and my bloke says they’re bone lazy.
The first time I met them, they asked if I was driving into town. I said “Yes” and they took a lift.
Well, they haven’t left me alone since.
Now they’ve asked if I can start getting some shopping for them when I go to the supermarket.
I’m terrified of being forced into a routine with two people I hardly know.
My partner says I’m a total mug.
I CAN’T get rid of my clingy holiday lover.
He turned up at my place – uninvited and unannounced – three weeks ago.
We met back in Spain in late June and had a brilliant time.
Out there, in the sun and under the stars, he was sexy, dangerous and hot.
We made love all the time and he made my heart race with his macho swagger and dirty talk.
But he really hasn’t translated well into my home town.
If I am absolutely honest, he embarrasses me. He’s so possessive and jealous.
Any time we go out he wants to fight all of my male friends. The other night he even squared up to my cousin – the darling guy I virtually grew up with.
Tears
Yet when we’re alone together, which is less and less these days, he keeps bursting into tears and telling me he loves me, which turns my stomach.
He’s currently staying in my brother’s old bedroom.
I’ve had to pretend that my parents are old-fashioned and don’t believe in sex before marriage.
My brother is currently travelling the world with his girlfriend and I’m sorely tempted to pack my passport and join them.
If I have to spend another week with “the holiday romance from hell” then I think I’ll go crazy.
He wants marriage and I just want him gone.
This was never meant to happen. He was never supposed to fly in and track me down. On the last night of my holiday I stupidly gave him my address and suggested he look me up.
But I never expected him to turn up on my doorstep.
Now he’s here and thinks that I’m his girlfriend. He makes my flesh creep.
Away from the clubs, beaches and cocktail bars he’s nothing but a drag. Plus, he’s got no money and keeps expecting me to treat him and bail him out.
How do I finally get rid of him?
JANE SAYS: You cannot allow this couple to take over your life or make you feel responsible for their travel arrangements or shopping trips.
How do you suppose they got along before you arrived?
Put yourself first and explain to them that you don’t have the spare time or energy they assume you have.
Yes, you’ve got a car, but fuel and insurance cost a fortune.
Point out you have work, family and responsibilities of your own and can’t commit to anything further.
If that upsets them, then that’s unfortunate but not your fault.
Be prepared to say “No” and don’t feel guilty about it.
It sounds like your partner has got their measure even if you haven’t. JANE SAYS: Sadly, this guy took you at your word and followed you home. It just shows how we should always be mindful of other people’s feelings.
If you really don’t want this guy around any longer, then I suggest you do all you can to organise his safe passage home.
Set some time aside and shop around for the cheapest flight. Then see if you can get the money together to pay for it.
Would your parents be prepared to lend you the cash?
You got yourself into this mess, now you need to get yourself out again. Clearly this guy is in no hurry to be gone, so you’ve got to make it happen. Of course it’s sad that the poor fella got the wrong end of the stick and believed you when you invited him to visit.
For that you must apologise and explain that everything has gone too far.
Sadly you don’t love him, do not wish to be with him and need your life back.
Remember that treating him like a nuisance isn’t fair because he may accuse you of leading him on, but acting with dignity and respect is an absolute must.
Learn from this and watch yourself in future.