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I’VE started to hate eating. I still live at home with my parents who are big foodies.
Their whole lives revolve around meals and it sickens me.
If they’re not shopping, cooking or clearing away then they’re watching food programmes or discussing recipes.
The pressure to stuff my face is enormous and I don’t like it or approve.
What about all the people in the world who don’t have enough to eat?
I often make myself sick after big meals, but I’m not bulimic or anorexic. I just don’t think eating to excess is anything to be proud of.
Their 30th wedding anniversary is coming up and they’re planning a big dinner.
I’m thinking of pretending I’m ill so I can duck out.
MY partner has been sleeping with someone else for the whole of our relationship.
I feel such a loser. Our entire time together has been a sham and a lie.
Every Christmas, birthday and holiday was a joke because she was always thinking about “him”.
Now she’s saying that we can start again, but can we?
Can I really forgive six years of fibs, tall stories and her elaborate excuses?
Her lover died last month, that’s how all of this has finally come out. His funeral was a messy affair with his wife, my partner and another (secret) lover all coming to blows.
I didn’t even realise my partner was there. She’d told me she was at a conference (another lie).
Sordid
I only found out the truth when another mourner dropped her home, all dressed in black and with a bloody nose.
I demanded the truth and now I know every sordid detail. I know about the weekends away, the hotel rooms and the sneaky sex.
Apparently her lover was a strong, demanding man who was used to getting his own way.
She wanted to break up with him, but didn’t know how. It’s only now, in death, that she’s able to be completely honest with me.
My heart is broken and my confidence crushed. I thought that we had a good life together.
I never once suspected or doubted her, even when she disappeared for days on end (visiting relatives), took money from our joint account or gave me a sexually transmitted infection (apparently from a toilet seat).
Now I know better and realise that I’ve been played like a battered violin.
How could anyone be so calculating and cruel over such a long period of time? And can we ever truly love again?
JANE SAYS: Your parents will be upset if you don’t make it to their special party.
But surely you don’t have to eat too much?
Talk to your mother and explain you find too much indulgence overwhelming.
Why not offer to serve the food and clear away as your contribution?
That way you can eat as little or as much as you want but also keep yourself occupied.
I understand what you mean about excessive amounts of food and eating for the sake of it.
But if there is any chance you do have an eating disorder, then, promise me you’ll chat to your GP about it.
Also check out the eating disorder charity b-eat.co.uk. JANE SAYS: My worry is that if your girl has always cheated on you, then how can you possibly know the real her?
You’ve been together for a good while, yet so far nothing has been true. From the lies and the secret assignations to the sexually transmitted infection, the fabric of your relationship is tissue thin.
Now she’s bereaved and scared and promising you the world, but isn’t it all too little too late?
She’s been found out and now she’s attempting to save her bacon with a massive damage limitation job.
You need to find out from her why she thought it was OK to sneak around behind your back and take money that you hadn’t authorised. Ultimately, you can’t allow anyone to steal your funds or pull the wool over your eyes.
Sadly, if you honestly feel that you’ve been duped or robbed then you must consider reporting this matter to the police.
As for rebooting this relationship and starting again, you have to ask yourself if there’s anything worth saving.
Do you even know this woman or what makes her tick?
If her lover hadn’t died, then would she still be with him now?
Maybe his untimely death and her bloody nose have actually done you a massive favour.