LABOUR: OUR JEZZ WALKS ON WATER
LABOUR had to abandon plans for Jeremy Corbyn to “walk on water” at its party conference, it was claimed last night.
Party officials are said to have wanted him to address a rally from a floating platform out at sea.
The Labour leader was apparently to make a speech to adoring fans gathered on the Brighton beach-front this week.
The plan had been compared by some to another famous JC – Jesus Christ, when the son of God walked on water.
However, the idea was scrapped after party officials failed to account for the tides, it was claimed.
One MP said of the plan: “He was going to stand offshore and the rally would take place on the beach, with Jeremy addressing the activists over a loudspeaker.
“They got as far as looking at tide times. They thought it would make a great picture – JC literally walking on water, sort of.
“It was also going to be like Moses parting ® the Red Sea and leading his followers to the Promised Land.”
The plan was ultimately scuppered but instead Mr Corbyn has already addressed Labour faithful from a skate park.
During his speech, an enthusiastic crowd chanted his “Oh Jeremy Corbyn” anthem, made popular when he appeared to the masses at Glastonbury.
Meanwhile it has also emerged that Labour considered projecting holograms of Mr Corbyn across the UK on the eve of the General Election.
Meanwhile, in the conference hall yesterday, Mr Corbyn’s wife, Laura Alvarez, sat with his old flame, Shadow Home Secretary Diane Abbott.
A spokesman for Mr Corbyn said the walk on water plan was “categorically untrue”.
No he doesn’t