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MY ex-partner is angry because I refuse to have sex with her whenever I drop our sons back at her house.
We broke up two years ago after I fell in love with a friend’s daughter.
But my ex simply won’t accept that I no longer want her and have moved on. She openly says she still loves me and wants me in her bed.
I suspect she feels she can lure me back, but I don’t want to sleep with her any more.
She’s sexually frustrated and hisses that I’m the only person capable of satisfying her needs.
When I turn her down, she accuses me of being cruel and things get nasty.
Of course there will always be an attraction between us. B ut why won’t she respect my new partner and new life?
MY partner has run off with another woman.
They’re living together just three streets away and I don’t know what to do. I feel so lost and humiliated.
She never told me she fancied women.
We were together for 12 years and she never once commented on attractive girls when we were watching porn together.
Now she’s putting stuff on social media about “never being happier” and I feel like the biggest loser around.
My sister knows what’s going on, because they work at the same place, but my parents think she’s out in New Zealand visiting her dying grandmother.
Online
I can’t bring myself to tell them that the woman they have always looked on as a second daughter is in another woman’s bed now. My poor old dad will have a fit.
My love rival is American. They hooked up online and only met for the first time when she touched down in this country a few weeks ago.
Apparently it was love at first sight and my girl moved into her hotel that very night.
Now they’re an item and I’m on my knees. We live in a small town and this news could go public at any minute.
Thankfully we don’t have children, but I come from a big traditional family who don’t really understand stuff about same-sex relationships or lesbian couples.
I just know that (the men in particular) will turn on ME and accuse me of being inadequate in the bedroom or not being man enough around the house.
Basically, I’ll be accused of turning her gay through my own actions – or lack of them.
I’m in a doomed situation. I just feel that my selfish partner has put me in a terrible place and it’s really not fair of her to do this.
JANE SAYS: Your ex-partner may well be frustrated and angry, but she has to accept that you and her are no longer an item.
Sadly, it sounds as if your split was angry and messy, but she has no right to embarrass and pester you in this way. What part of “ex” doesn’t she understand?
You need to warn her that you’re not interested in sleeping with her again – and never will be. It’s over.
Don’t allow her to control you or wear you down, because it’s vital that you maintain a civil relationship for the sake of your sons.
Maybe you should ask a family member to accompany you on future pick-ups. JANE SAYS: No-one could blame you for feeling angry and rejected in this position.
Naturally, you thought that you and your ex-partner had a good relationship and assumed that you’d be together forever. What a shame she didn’t speak to you about her needs and feelings before making contact with her lover from America.
Now they’re living together fulltime, you have to accept that her love life is no longer your business.
It doesn’t matter that her lover is female. She’s an adult and she’s in a different place now. If she’s absolutely adamant that you and her are over, try to accept that and move on.
I know it’s only human nature to apportion blame, but if your partner has been living a lie (regarding her true sexuality) then maybe she was always going to leave in the end?
As for your extended family, you need to stop worrying about what they think because you don’t have to answer to anyone.
I am sure there’s nothing “unmanly” about you, so cast those negative thoughts right out of your mind.
No-one ever said that life was straightforward or simple.
What you have to do now is find love again and start living every day to the max.