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MY boyfriend is the hottest guy I’ve ever known. Not only is he fit and funny, but he’s generous and fantastic in bed too. I have to keep pinching myself.
We’ve been together for four months, but far from becoming more confident around him, I’m more paranoid by the day. I’m terrified of losing him.
When we go out, other women literally shove me out of the way to get to him. At a recent fundraising event one battleaxe even offered to pay him for a quickie in the disabled loo. That’s what I’m up against.
My boyfriend swears that he loves and fancies me, but I can’t help worrying that I’m just not good enough for him.
I AM regretting making friends with my sex-mad neighbour.
Now she thinks I fancy her and won’t leave me alone.
I’m newly single and she keeps popping over with home-made curries and bottles of chilled wine.
Twice she’s tried to grope me and last month she came right out and asked me if I fancied full sex.
The answer was a resounding: “No, I don’t.” But that blunt rejection still hasn’t put her off.
Now I’ve had a text inviting me to her pal’s wedding in November. Apparently she’s booked a luxury suite in a gorgeous hotel, which I’m welcome to share. I can’t think of anything worse.
Fleeced
I’m not a complete monster. She’s a nice enough woman, but not my type.
Besides, I’m only just catching my breath after the break-up from hell from my last partner who fleeced, demoralised and hurt me very badly.
I’m not in a good place emotionally and coming and going has become a bit of a nightmare, as I have to dodge my over-zealous neighbour every time I attempt to get in or out of my car.
The other day I drew up at 10pm. I was exhausted after a horrible meeting at work, but she thought it was really funny to get in the car with me and offer me oral sex “for a treat”.
I didn’t find the suggestion remotely inviting. I begged her to leave me alone and she just laughed. I hate the way she greedily looks me up and down as if I’m a dirty challenge. I don’t feel that I can do anything without her noticing. I’m wary of making an enemy of her because I don’t know which way she might turn.
I suspect she thinks she’s going to break me down, but that is never going to happen. What’s my next move?
JANE SAYS: Unless you start believing in yourself then the doubters will get the better of you. Maybe your boyfriend is good looking but that doesn’t mean you have to be intimidated or grateful.
Always remember you are his equal and he’s going out with you because you’re beautiful, and he likes you – otherwise you’ll do yourself out of a relationship.
The fact is other women are jealous of you, so milk that. If you hear anything negative about yourself, then plonk an extra large kiss on his lips and smile sweetly.
What you mustn’t do is rise to anyone’s bait or shout back, because a loss of dignity is never attractive. Enjoy every minute you have together and count your lucky stars. JANE SAYS: Your neighbour may well fancy you and be looking for love and companionship, but nothing gives anyone the right to overstep the mark.
Grabbing you and offering you sexual favours were completely inappropriate acts. What if the tables had been turned and you’d tried that on with her?
You now need to level with her about your true feelings, because if you’re definitely not interested in a romance then she has to hear that sooner rather than later.
Be strong and explain that you’re still hurting from the breakdown of your last romance and require a period of quiet calm. You’re sorry but you’re not free.
This is not a game, you know your own mind, you’re not playing hard to get in the hope that she’ll continue to chase you. If she can’t respect or understand where you’re coming from then you can have nothing more to do with each other.
She has to understand that you will not be bullied, coerced or intimidated.
I don’t think you should go so far as moving home, but you should be ready to speak to a solicitor or even the police if this woman does go on to become a serious nuisance.
It’s sad that your neighbour is lonely, but that is really not your problem.