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MY girlfriend gets bored very quickly.
She picks up and drops mates and hobbies all the time.
She’s had four jobs in the three years I’ve known her and now she’s got itchy feet again.
She is talking about relocating to the coast. We had a lovely week in a friend’s old fisherman’s cottage over the summer and now she’s craving a new venture.
She’s talking sea views and even paying guests. I can’t think of anything worse.
I love my city job, old school friends and having my family close by.
Yes, we did have a nice time on the beach, but I don’t want to eat fish and chips every day and I know seaside towns really don’t look the same in the rain.
MY partner is openly cheating on me with a woman from his firm, but no-one cares about my feelings.
When I complain of the hurt and humiliation he’s causing me, his family advise me to “keep quiet for my own good” or laugh and say, “Oh, he’s always been a Jack-the-lad”.
He’s a rich and powerful man and, yes, I do have an amazing life with him, but surely I deserve some respect too?
Why should I turn a blind eye because he’s arrogant and strong and not someone to argue with? A dozen times now I’ve found makeup on his clothes, hotel and restaurant receipts in his wallet and condoms in his car.
Crazy
I’ve begged him to stop making a fool of me. But he acts as if I’m crazy and imagining things.
What I don’t imagine are the posts his lover constantly puts on social media about the wonderful times they have together.
I get the impression she deliberately likes to rub my face in the dirt, but he doesn’t care.
The problem is that everyone we know has a vested interest in staying on his good side. He pays his parents’ bills and subs his feckless sister.
He’s the first at a bar buying all the drinks. In restaurants, the rest of his clan sit back as he inevitably whips out his gold credit card.
His parents are totally dependant on his generosity. I can actually feel people moving away from me as they protect their incomes and take sides with him.
His mother has even suggested I close my eyes and ears – if I know what’s good for me…
OK, so I’m not the most successful person in the world. I work part-time at a florist shop, which I love, but I do have ambitions and I have my pride.
JANE SAYS: Having a lovely holiday in summer is one thing, but throwing everything in the air without thinking it through is quite another.
There are two of you in this relationship and she’s got to think about your feelings too.
What if you moved to the coast and she still wasn’t happy? I suggest you offer to meet her halfway. Ask her to come up with a detailed business plan.
Talk about incomings and outgoings and how you’d cope with accommodating paying guests. Also explain how you love your job and thrive on it.
Could it be that you and she aren’t suited in the first place and that she’ll never be happy wherever she is? JANE SAYS: It’s always been a fact of life that where there is money there are hangers-on.
The problem is that too many people around your partner have their noses in the trough. From his dependant parents to his freeloading sister, no-one is going to back you up if it means jeopardising their own free ride.
Unscrupulous users will sniff out a free lunch a mile off. Your fella’s pals know exactly which side their bread is buttered on.
They won’t criticise or risk upsetting him, because they love hanging on his coat tails and enjoying the good times.
You need to start accepting he isn’t going to change and if you are to retain a shred of selfrespect, then you probably need to move on. You criticise his circle for loving the good life, but aren’t you just as guilty?
Would you let him get away with upsetting you if he didn’t have a penny to his name? Step away from this and start thinking about your feelings and your limits.
If your fella openly has another woman in his life, then is this the end? I think it should be.
As for your work and ambitions, if you don’t feel you’re stretched or going anywhere, then look at retraining. What courses or exams could you take to make you more independent and fulfilled?