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I FREQUENTLY get the impression that my partner hates my guts.
Too often she can’t find it in her heart to speak respectfully or kindly to me. I’m met with a barrage of insults, criticisms and put-downs.
I’m repeatedly told that I’m unthinking, stupid, insensitive and selfish.
Yet she still expects me to rise to the occasion and make love to her at night.
During a party to celebrate 10 years together, she stood up and gave a speech that slagged me off from beginning to end.
Everyone was really uncomfortable because she simply wasn’t funny or fair.
She actually said that she thought she could do better for herself. She sat down to silence. What is her problem?
I AM sick of my mate showing X-rated images of him and his wife having sex.
In the last couple of months alone, I’ve seen pictures and films of her with other women and men, plus pleasuring herself and him.
It’s all too graphic and too much. He and I have known each other for 20 years.
We now work together, but I deeply regret ever recommending him for his job. He’s embarrassing and compromising me and bringing me down to his level.
His first wife was lovely. I knew her very well as our sons were mates in primary school. Everyone was devastated when she died. But this new one he’s got is very different.
I get it that they have a riproaring sex life and enjoy swinging, dogging, threesomes and sex parties.
I understand that he’s extremely full of himself at the moment, but does he really need to over share?
I’m no prude. I looked at plenty of grubby magazines as a younger man and thoroughly enjoy a healthy sex life with my own wife, but just feel I’m too old to be shown smut.
At the moment he’s off with me because I told him to put his phone away during an important meeting.
He was bragging about his wife’s latest tricks and I lost my rag. I called him immature and pathetic and he crept off with his tail between his legs.
I just think that there’s a time and a place for everything, don’t you? The thing is I’m convinced his missus has no idea her sleazy husband is betraying her.
Does she deserve to hear the truth? Is it my job to save her blushes by outing her vile hubby and showing him up for the rat he is?
I’m not normally one for sticking my head above the parapet but I’m really angry and upset.
JANE SAYS: Your awful partner needs to hear that she’s in serious danger of pushing you away.
She may believe that insulting you is terribly clever and funny, but why should you have to put up with it?
Where is the respect? Where is the dignity?
Unless you and your partner have words and she understands that you won’t tolerate another minute of her nonsense, then you are going to end up hating her and then everything will fall apart.
If being horrible is her way of wriggling out of the relationship, then let her admit it.
If she really thinks she could do better with someone else, why is she wasting her time with you? JANE SAYS: Other people’s relationships are all too often complicated and unfathomable.
For all you know, this lady could know that her husband regularly flashes intimate images of her.
It might be their “thing”, the wicked act that turns them both on and sparks their sex life.
Alternatively, he could be a bully and she might be too frightened to complain for fear of being emotionally – or even physically – abused.
Therefore I don’t think you should stand up and speak to her.
You just don’t know what you’re dealing with.
However, I do think that you should probably have a word with your boss or your superiors, or somebody from your human resources department.
I simply can’t believe that bringing in a phone and flashing inappropriate pictures on company property is encouraged or allowed by your firm.
Why should you have to be embarrassed or compromised by this smut?
It’s not funny or cheeky; it’s purely offensive. And I’m sure that other, horrified, workmates will eventually come out of the woodwork too.
You need to make it clear that your work is now suffering.