I CRINGE when I remember how rude I was to my daughter when she first brought her boyfriend (now husband) to see me.
I didn’t think he was good enough. I refused to cook for him and argued with everything he said.
Even when he rushed me to hospital after I had a bad fall I was ungrateful and criticised his driving.
My daughter was furious and we rowed many times about my bad attitude. Now I find myself single, desperate and broke.
I have to leave my rented flat and my daughter says I can (temporarily) move in with them.
I now regret being such a cow, when my son-in-law is really a decent person.
How do I make things right?
SOME women love buying handbags, shoes or gadgets. My wife binges on sex toys.
Our box room has been turned into a shrine for her extensive collection of vibrators, flavoured lubricants, sexy undies – and more.
She spends an absolute fortune on top quality products and often buys stuff in from abroad.
She prides herself on being a headstrong, independent woman, but I actually believe that she’s self-serving and narcissistic.
The fact is that she’d rather have sex with herself than with me. One whole wall of our box room is mirrored and she watches and films herself as she takes her pleasure.
I’m an open-minded fella. I wouldn’t mind any of this if she actually gave me some love and attention too. But I’m not allowed to join in and she constantly rejects me in our marital bed.
Recently I celebrated an important birthday. I booked a top hotel for a saucy weekend away.
But she said she was too tired to join me in the spa pool or our four-poster for sex, because she “wasn’t feeling like it”.
Yet, the minute we got home at 5pm on the Sunday, she went straight up to her private den and locked the door.
About 20 minutes later I went up with a cup of tea for her and I could hear her talking dirty online to one of her kinky friends around the world. I never had her down as a sneaky sort, but her current behaviour is really disappointing and confusing me.
It’s very baffling and is made worse by the fact that I’m too embarrassed to talk to her about it, as I don’t know where to begin.
I feel as though she’s effectively edited me out of her life and removed my manhood. I’m superfluous and redundant.
I’ve been replaced by a lump of buzzing plastic – and that really hurts my feelings.
JANE SAYS: You were vindictive towards a man who had done nothing to upset you.
His only crime was falling in love with your daughter. I can’t say I’ve got a huge amount of sympathy for you.
Isn’t it odd how things come around? Karma, anyone? All you can do now is finally act like a grown-up. Swallow your pride and admit that you were wrong.
Don’t try to come up with flimsy excuses.
Admit you were a heartless moo who now regrets being horrible.
Let’s hope your daughter and her husband are a lot more mature than you are.
I suspect they are, as they care enough to give you sanctuary.
Don’t blow this second chance. Work with your daughter on planning your future. JANE SAYS: Your wife needs to hear that she’s been extremely insensitive and cruel. Locking herself in her private love den, while you’re left floundering outside, is insulting in the extreme.
Sadly, neither of you is talking about the big issue here – namely the fact that she’s going off in her own direction.
I urge you to find the courage to talk to her honestly and sincerely.
Park your embarrassment and explain that you love her and respect her and miss her touch.
Tell her that you long to be close again. OK, so she loves sex toys, but can’t you play with them together? Why do they have to be for her sole use? As for her talking dirty to other people, doesn’t she understand how disloyal you feel that is?
Offer to take things slowly. Suggest a relaxing evening and an early night so you can cuddle and see what develops.
If she accuses you of being set in your ways, then offer to change. Ask her what she’d like you to do to shake up your sex life.
Ultimately, however, she must be prepared to meet you halfway and accept she’s being selfish.
If she really won’t, then would she be happier without you on a full-time basis? Her call.