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WHEN I married my ex-husband, his mother stood up at our wedding and declared me the “daughter she’d never had”.
For the entire six years of our marriage she was wonderful to me, but now that we’re divorced I feel abandoned by her.
Even though my ex now lives abroad with his new partner, she hasn’t invited me to her house this Christmas.
Admittedly I don’t have children, but what difference would one more make?
When my husband and I were getting divorced he was horrible towards me.
However, his mother was fantastic. She was supportive and totally on my side. Yet now I’ve been cast aside.
How is that fair on me – the innocent party in all of this?
I DON’T like the fact that my girlfriend has lost so much weight.
I liked her better when she was fat. She was more fun and outgoing then.
Last January 1 she vowed to get fit and it’s been downhill all the way (as far as I’m concerned) ever since.
She has joined a fitness club and become obsessed with the gym, the classes and the people who work and exercise there.
If she’s not making revolting green smoothies, then she’s counting calories or boring me rigid with her successes and achievements.
Flirting
As she no longer drinks alcohol and isn’t interested in eating anything that isn’t super healthy, our nights out are boring and no fun.
I used to love drunken sex. All that fumbling and tumbling about in a state of high abandon, it was the best.
We used to be noisy, physical, boozy lovers. The neighbours were always banging on the wall and complaining about our screaming but now it’s like sleeping with an ironing board.
Sadly she only has one topic of conversation and that’s herself.
Yes, I do admit that she looks amazing She’s lost about four stones. She’s toned and has lost all of her wobbly bits (which, I rather liked, but hey ho) and can fit into tight jeans and tiny tops with ease.
I’m not too proud to admit that I also resent the amount of attention she’s getting from other men. There seems to be a geek down at her gym who never leaves her alone – and she loves the flirting.
Just lately she’s started hinting I should shape up too. How dare she? I love a pint and my grub.
My gut and me go back a long way – I just wish my girl would start remembering and appreciating the fun guy she first fell in love with.
JANE SAYS: You have to accept that this is a new era and a new beginning for you.
When you and your ex-husband were together, your motherin-law was an ally, but now she finds herself having to take her son’s side because blood is thicker than water.
She may not approve of the way he behaved, but as you’re his ex-wife now, she has to leave the past behind.
Of course this situation isn’t perfect, but what is in this life?
It takes an awful lot to dent a mother’s love.
Give the poor woman a break and put your energy into turning your life around with the help of your friends and family. JANE SAYS: This is a tricky one because I can’t condemn your girlfriend for losing weight and getting fit.
Clearly she’s adopted a much healthier lifestyle. She’s dumped the junk and is moving about and feeling positive and strong.
So far, so commendable, but if you feel she’s become a one trick pony, then you are entitled to say so.
With all things there has to be an element of balance and if she’s gone too far down the healthy road for you, then are you and she still suited? Is she the kind of companion you need and crave?
Obviously, it would be very wrong of you to try to tempt her back to the dark side with fatty foods, especially as she’s done so well. Talk to her today and tell her that you’re happy just the way you are. Is she happy with you or has her weight loss made her view you in a whole new light?
If you’re not willing to join her down the gym, then do you need to find someone new who is more of a party girl and a kindred spirit?
It goes without saying that you can live your life anyway you choose, but don’t allow jealousy or your pride to stop you from changing your diet if you could actually do with shaping up yourself.