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I WAS hoping that my girlfriend and I would make love for the first time during a recent weekend away.
I set the scene in our hotel room with scented candles, rose petals and fizz.
But she took one look at the four-poster bed and fled.
I caught up with her in the garden where she was in tears. I begged her to tell me why she shunned intimacy. Did I smell? Was I doing something wrong? With that she sobbed that her childhood was complicated and messy. Then a teenage boyfriend had been horrible to her but she refused to tell me any more.
Now we’re jogging along as girlfriend and boyfriend, but we don’t kiss or touch. I’ve never seen her naked and she’s never touched me in an intimate way.
She’s a wonderful person, but such a closed book. I know that I make her happy and make her feel secure because I can PRESS 1 for GENERAL COUNSELLING for all personal and relationship difficulties PRESS 2 for SEXUAL GUIDANCE for all men’s and women’s intimate problems see the love in her eyes, but I don’t want a brother-sister relationship.
I’m going mad with sexual frustration. What’s the solution?
JANE SAYS: I fear you’ve both still got a long way to go.
Clearly you care for your girl, very much, but I don’t see how this relationship can progress when there is such a big secret between you.
Try to convince her to talk to her GP. Tell her that you crave a complete relationship, including the physical side, and wish to help her lay her painful past to rest.
Perhaps you need to take a break while she thinks things over.
Ultimately, you also have to think about yourself and what will make you happy in the long run.
You may like and feel sorry for this lady, but what about your mental health and your physical needs? Is she everything you long for in a forever partner?