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MY boyfriend only finds me attractive when he’s drunk.

I find that insulting and demeaning.

If I complain he jokes: “It’s better if I’m blotto – I can’t see you.” But I don’t find it funny at all.

We’ve been together for years and life’s become mundane.

We often sleep in separate beds because I have a lot of early starts with my job.

Yet any time he goes out with his colleagues and comes back half-cut, I suddenly seem to be the most desirable creature in the world.

Why should I have to put up with being pawed by a drunk when all I want is love?

I’VE fallen in love with my cold, hard lover – and hate myself for being so weak.

He uses me when he wants sex and then throws me away like a discarded tissue, but I adore him and want him so much it hurts.

The worse he treats me, the more addicted I become. He could literally walk over me in the street and I’d still be trying to lick his shoes as they scuffed my face.

That’s how bad I am. I’m a feeble, lovestruck wreck.

My guy and I have been sleeping together for a few months. He’s in a relationsh­ip and told me from the start that he has no intention of ever leaving his partner, spending any money or sleeping over at my place.

Naked

As far as he’s concerned, ours is a purely sexual arrangemen­t. He texts me first to tell me that he’s on his way and expects me to be naked, ready and waiting.

Sometimes we make out two or three times depending on how long he has to spare, but I can never expect a cuddle, dinner or even a real chat afterwards.

He leaves, I feel dreadful and then it all starts again a day or so later.

He keeps warning me not to fall in love with him because he’s got nothing to offer, but I can’t help myself. Every time he touches me I crave him more and more. I think about him all day.

The other night I dared to push my luck. I asked him to visit me on Christmas Day for five minutes. I know he has a dog and begged him to take a detour around here just to give me kiss under the mistletoe.

He looked me in the face, laughed and said: “You must be joking. I’ll be too busy getting drunk”. Now I feel humiliated and numb.

JANE SAYS: Your partner has to hear how much he’s hurting and insulting you.

Talk to him away from the bedroom, when he’s stone cold sober, about the state of your relationsh­ip.

He has to understand that you have your dignity and your own sexual needs and they aren’t being considered.

If drink gives him confidence, suggest some early nights and try getting back to basics.

However, if he’s really not bothered about your feelings and thinks that excessive alcohol gives him the right to behave any way he likes, then I suggest you and he have a series of honest talks about where this relationsh­ip is headed.

Is he prepared to apologise and start again or are you both wasting your time? JANE SAYS: Please, save yourself from this horrible situation.

You describe your lover as cold – and he really is as cold as ice.

I suspect he cares more for his dog than he does for you. The fact is – rightly or wrongly – that you’ve always known the score.

He’s in a relationsh­ip and isn’t interested in anything except exciting, loveless sex.

He can quite easily separate out love and sex and it’s of no consequenc­e to him if you have started to develop feelings.

Therefore you’ve really got to pull away from this unhealthy, toxic situation before it destroys you.

The problem is that you’re not getting out, meeting other people or having an interestin­g, wellrounde­d life.You’re becoming isolated and insular. Please vow to turn things around from now on.

Force yourself to ditch this guy and take back control of your time, body and mind.

You have to balance your day-today life with meet-ups with mates, outside interests and hobbies as well as a mutually respectful relationsh­ip with a guy who is available and totally dedicated to you.

You owe it to yourself to make this change. At the moment you’re nothing more than a service provider to an individual with a massive ego and absolutely no interest in anyone except himself.

 ??  ?? LOVESTRUCK WRECK: She’s obsessed with him but he has no intention of leaving his partner
LOVESTRUCK WRECK: She’s obsessed with him but he has no intention of leaving his partner
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