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I CAN’T stand my stepdaughter’s latest partner. He’s shifty and I’m sure he’s living a double life.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he had another woman and kids in another part of town.
He’s supposed to be a roofer, but who goes on roofs in snow or pouring rain?
Recently he claimed he couldn’t help her with the Christmas shopping because he was on a big job. There was thick snow on every roof in town!
I’ve noticed that even when he is around he’s always on his mobile phone.
I’ve tried to ask him about everything from his parents and his upbringing to his education and I’ve never managed to get anything out of him.
She claims he’s shy. Yeah, right!
I’M being pursued by a deluded woman who insists that I owe her a relationship.
We had sex at a gathering a few weeks ago.
Now she’s very much the hurt party. She is upset because I haven’t invited her out on a proper date or asked her to become my girlfriend.
Mutual friends are saying she feels soiled and used by me.
I’m stunned because what we had together was nothing. It was just a mutually-agreed, sloshed 2am encounter in an empty bedroom, under of a pile of coats.
We then went back downstairs and carried on drinking. But her sister is telling me she expected me to call her up the next day – and I didn’t.
Hanging
To be quite honest I didn’t give her another thought and now I’m sort of seeing someone else.
Yet this bunny boiler is making my life hell. She’s found out where I live and work and won’t leave me alone.
And I keep spotting her hanging around outside.
She keeps telling me she’s in love with me and that I owe her something more.
She says I made loads of promises to her that night about becoming her full-time boyfriend and now she wants commitment and love.
But I don’t even fancy her and I honestly can’t remember promising her anything.
The other day she put a letter through my door telling me that I’m on my last chance and if I “do the right thing” by Christmas Eve, I won’t be in trouble. But if I let her down again, then she won’t be responsible for her actions.
I’m really scared. I’m a normal bloke but I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before. I wish I’d never even spoken to her at that rotten party.
How do I get out of this without her ruining my life?
JANE SAYS: I’d keep well out of this one if I were you.
It’s not your job to question your stepdaughter’s boyfriend or ask him what he’s up to.
Fair enough, you don’t like the look of him, but you’re not going out with him.
Clearly, your daughter is so desperate to cling on to this relationship that she’ll fall for any line he throws her.
I suspect, in her heart, she knows he’s playing games. But if she’s not willing to admit the truth to herself or give up on him yet, then you have to step back.
Ultimately, be prepared to pick up the pieces later on. If he really does have another woman and children then it’ll all come out in the wash. JANE SAYS: I’m not inclined to mess around as far as your “admirer” is concerned. She sounds obsessed and deeply unhappy.
If she really is determined to make you pay for humiliating her, then you could be in real danger. From the threatening note to the stalking, she is not acting rationally or reasonably.
In an ideal world you would suggest a face-to-face meeting in a neutral setting.
You would explain to her that you’re really sorry but you’re not in the market for a full-blown relationship.
You’d apologise if she felt you had used her or given her the wrong impression, and then you would shake hands and go your separate ways. But I don’t think that is going to work with her and you really need to think about protecting yourself and your reputation.
Speak to your older relatives – your parents, aunts or uncles – and tell them everything so they can support and advise you.
It might sound extreme but you might have to think about contacting a lawyer and/or the police.
I realise that might seem overthe-top, but who knows what this fragile woman may be capable of? And if your drinking is a problem, consider cutting back or stopping altogether.