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CASSANDRA peers out from the stage in the intimate little bar, raises her whisky glass and delivers “a clean toast” to the audience.
It is, after all, only 9.30pm. Then she picks up a piece of paper from her piano, reads it and shouts: “Hell, yes!” – and launches into a stomping, joint-jumping rendition of P!nk’s So What.
Ben, sitting opposite her at another piano, grins and joins in with a fantastic keyboard solo, as John casually wanders onstage, grabs a guitar and begins thumping out a bassline.
These guys had no idea that piece of paper would request P!nk – just as they didn’t know that tonight the audience would want Frank Sinatra, Paul Simon, Taylor Swift, or Regina Spektor. But they have, and the band has played every one – all without one note of music in front of them. They’re called Howl At The Moon and their combination of jaw-dropping talent and cheeky banter creates one of the cleverest, infectiously joyous shows I’ve seen.
But it’s no wonder the place is rocking – we’re on a cruise ship. To be precise, Norwegian Cruise Line’s Breakaway – and it’s magnificent. I’d always dismissed cruises. My parents reported being herded like cattle every night to the same table, where they tried to outdo the same fellow oldies by bragging about their children and lamenting their gout, or possibly vice versa. But Norwegian is different. Very different. Its passengers are of all ages because it has something for everyone. The enormous Breakaway – 325metres long and 16 storeys high – offers its 4,000 travellers an astonishing 22 restaurants and 27 bars.
It’s also got (ready?): two swimming pools; a spa; a gym; an aquapark with 30ft water slides; mini-golf; a video arcade; kids’ and teens’ clubs; a high-ropes experience 70ft above open sea; a casino; climbing wall; library; ice bar; and art gallery. There’s even a running track.
Then there’s the entertainment. Alongside the awesome ivoryticklers, there’s a jazz bar; cinema; comedy club; circus dinner show; theatre featuring two productions straight off Broadway.
A look at my dog-eared programme reveals 83 different activities today. If you’re bored, the problem lies with you. Another thing: unlike many cruises, you are free to do what you want, any old time. No set dinner times, res-