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NOTHING about my girlfriend adds up.
She’s really funny and brilliant in bed, but conversations are weird because she tells tall stories.
One minute she’s gushing about her brilliant dad and all the presents he gave her at Christmas time, the next she’s telling my mates that she comes from a broken home.
Several people have said to me that stuff about her simply doesn’t add up. Yet any time I attempt to pick her up on detail she laughs or kisses me or changes the subject.
I’m not controlling, but I’d like to know where I stand. I’ve got a funny feeling that she may have worked abroad or been involved in something dodgy or even illegal, but as she won’t confirm or deny anything, I’m all at sea. She begs me to take her as she is, but that’s hard.
MY married lover says 2018 isn’t going to be our year after all.
He’s committed to staying with his wife for another five years.
I’m completely gutted and feel such a fool.
For the past six months I’ve been going around telling everyone about my new life.
I’ve bought a new bed, sofas and completely had my bathroom refitted because he prefers a power shower to a tub.
I’ve spent a fortune making my home man-friendly and now he says he’s not coming after all.
I don’t even care about the £6,000 I’ve splashed out, but I do care about my reputation and my image.
Free
People must think I’m a complete moron for sticking with him, but all he does is shrug his shoulders and says “sorry” when I tell him how hurt and disappointed I am.
He says he won’t upset his wife, who has health issues, or disrupt his children.
He was here a few nights ago. I cooked him a special meal and we made love. I was just dozing off at around 2am when he announced that he was going home.
He got out of bed and said that I’d got it all wrong, that he wasn’t going to be free until at least 2023 and, that, if I didn’t like it then I could find someone else.
Of course I shouted back. I demanded to know what on earth was going on. But he grabbed his jacket, barged past me and now I don’t know where I stand. I’ve put my life on hold for that man. We had an agreement. I honestly thought that he would eventually do the right thing by me.
He’s not returning my calls and I suspect he’s gone away somewhere with his mob. I’ve driven past his house a few times and none of the lights are ever on.
What am I supposed to do now?
JANE SAYS: Explain to your girl you’re not nosy or paranoid, but you would like to know a lot more about her.
You’re curious about her job, family and previous loves.
I don’t think that’s an unreasonable request, especially if you suspect that she has skeletons in her closet.
Promise her you won’t judge or condemn and, in return, she can ask you anything she likes about your life.
But if she refuses to give you the answers you crave, you’ll have to ask yourself if she’s really the one for you.
Is her secrecy something that is going to come between you? JANE SAYS: Please stop stalking your married lover and finally accept that he is not the man you want him to be.
For the past few months you’ve been spending vast amounts of money adapting your home for his arrival.
Now he’s delivered a killer punch and revealed – at two o’clock in the morning after food and sex – that he’s not going to be moving in after all.
Disappointing and devastating yes, but you cannot allow him to destroy your confidence. Surely you’ve got to view this rejection as the final straw?
This is it, the end. You now know that you can’t trust a single word this man says. He’s witnessed you remodelling your home for him, knowing full well that he was never going to leave his wife. What kind of low-life coward does that?
Cry your eyes out, punch your mattress and scream into your pillow and then rise again.
Be prepared for the fact that he may come creeping around you again in the New Year, but you’ve got to be strong.
You’ve got to tell him to get lost or he’ll steal another five years of your life.
He can’t have his cake and eat it. But you can turn everything around and have a better future without him in it.