MY boyfriend says he’s sick of living in our busy city and wants to go back to his childhood village, where his parents and oldest mates are.
I can’t think of anything worse. I hate the countryside and find his parents small-minded and disapproving.
What confuses me is that our sex life is just as good as ever.
We’re passionate and share the same sense of humour.
I’ve said I’ll move back with him if it’ll save our relationship, but he doesn’t seem to want that.
He says I’ll be bored and I’ll miss my family and he couldn’t do that to me. Why is he so determined to ruin everything we’ve built together?
THE day my long-term girlfriend dumped me I booked a holiday and flew out to the sun.
For two weeks I swam, drank and partied very hard indeed.
I was so angry with my ex that I put myself about. I bedded all the girls who were interested in me and threw my contact details around like confetti.
Now I’m back at home and being hounded by three keen women who won’t leave me alone.
They all know that I run my own business and have a bit of cash. It’s obvious that they all view me as a good catch and possible husband/father material.
In the past few months I’ve seen all of them again individually and I’m feeling under pressure to chose one and commit.
The problem is that I don’t know which of these women to go for.
They’re all good, but in different ways. If I could put them all together, I’d have the perfect partner. But life’s not like that, is it?
I’m having a lot of sex with three very enthusiastic lovers but I’m not really enjoying myself any more.
I’m getting sick of the endless texts, calls and emails from three women who all view me as their future and their prize.
Meanwhile, my ex has been back on to me again telling me that she misses me and thinks we could still make a go of things.
I’m still furious with her for all the pain she’s put me through.
But, at the end of the day, she’s still the love of my life and the only one I’ve ever been truly in love with.
All I long for is a simple, uncomplicated life. At the moment I feel overwhelmed.
I’m being pulled in different directions and need some headspace. How do I achieve that?
JANE SAYS: I get the impression your boyfriend is attempting to let you down gently.
Clearly you believe that your relationship is perfect, but I’m not so sure that he does.
He seems inflexible and to have an answer for everything.
Surely it’s up to you whether you leave your current life and home?
Why doesn’t he think you’d fit in with his friends and family?
Tell him you’re not stupid. What’s really going on here?
Sadly, you may have to accept your romance is over and let him go.
Of course you feel sick now – we all do when an important relationship ends – but he’s not the only guy in the world.
There will be someone else for you and they will hopefully love city life just as much as you do. JANE SAYS: You have to put your foot down and start being firm.
Clearly a lot of women find you attractive for a variety of reasons, but you can’t continue to play around because these are people’s lives and emotions you’re dealing with. Maybe confrontation is a chore, but you’ve got to start being true to yourself.
The reality is that none of these women is right for you. Tell each one in turn that you’ve had a wild time, but now the party is over.
You’re sorry if you’ve built up their hopes or given the wrong impression, but you are in no position to commit to anyone now.
Say goodbye and ask them to get on with their own lives, while you get on with yours.
What you have to learn from all of this is that you can’t play with people’s feelings.
Having sex with a bunch of strangers during a wild holiday may have seemed like a hoot. But with sex comes responsibility.
Your lovers have formed an emotional attachment to you and that is what often happens when we become intimate with somebody.
As for your ex-partner, you need to think long and hard about getting back with her. Why did you break up in the first place and what has changed since then?
If she’s realised you’re a good bet, then is she in danger of only wanting you because she hasn’t managed to find someone any better?