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MY ex-partner has wormed his way back into my life again – and I don’t like it.
He’s struck up a friendship with my new bloke. They work in the same industry and drink in a particular pub.
My bloke is gentle and sweet, but I don’t appreciate him telling me what a great fella my ex is.
He has no idea that, when we were together, my ex was controlling, mean and something of a sex pest. He demanded sex three times a day and I could never have friends or relatives in the house because he was so jealous.
He and I finally split after he went off with a mate. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to finally sign those divorce papers.
Now he’s single again and my blood runs cold every time my new man mentions his name. I’ve absolutely made him promise never to bring him round here.
But I worry that my ex is actually grooming PRESS 1 for GENERAL COUNSELLING for all personal and relationship difficulties PRESS 2 for SEXUAL GUIDANCE for all men’s and women’s intimate problems him in order to get next to me. That’s what he’s like – I wouldn’t put anything past him. What do I do?
JANE SAYS: Your new partner has to understand how uncomfortable this situation is becoming for you.
He needs to think about where his loyalties lie. Of course he’s entitled to his own friends, but does his main buddy really have to be your ex?
Suggest more activities that you and he could start enjoying together – meals, walks, sport, etc – and get him to spend less time in the pub and more with you.
As for dishing up the gritty details of your failed marriage, maybe he does need to hear the full facts so that he knows what he’s dealing with.
And as for your ex possibly grooming him, you’ve got to trust your instincts and warn your boyfriend .
You can always contact the police if your ex becomes a serious nuisance.