Daily Star

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A COUPLE of months after we first got together, a friend warned me that my partner frequented brothels and massage parlours.

I confronted him and he promised to stop. Now its two years on and I’ve discovered he’s up to his old tricks, paying a woman to “treat” his back. He says she’s respectabl­e.

I’ve looked into her and know she’s a sex worker. He swears nothing untoward is going on.

I’m so disappoint­ed. Not only has he gone back on his word, but he’s made me look a fool. Maybe he’s not having full sex with her, but he’s sneaking around and lying. Can we come back from this? I’M sick of my partner’s huge sexual appetite.

The man is like a human turbine. He never tires.

On a normal day he expects a quickie first thing and a half an hour of passion at bedtime. That’s the minimum.

At weekends, or when he has a day off work, I find myself hiding from him because he never leaves me alone.

He doesn’t realise this, but I often elect to do Sunday shifts at work just to get out of his clutches. My boss thinks I’m the most selfless person on the team, but there’s a good reason why I’m desperate to get out of the house.

Boundaries

He likes to brag to our mates that he treats me like a princess, but I’ve come to dread the “romantic” breaks he books up to surprise me.

Basically two nights in a posh hotel turn into a sexathon with him chasing me around the bedroom like a cartoon character.

Recently we went to the Cotswolds, but it was a waste of money (as far as I’m concerned) because I didn’t get to use the spa or the pool and all our meals were delivered to our room.

Our four-poster bed saw a lot of action, but I didn’t set one foot in the beautiful grounds – or even the cocktail bar.

Just recently he’s started hinting that he’d like to “push back the boundaries” much more.

He’s talking about threesomes and swinging.

I did all that with my exboyfrien­d and ended up feeling grubby and used. Things came to a head when a sex tape we’d made ended up in the wrong hands and he lost his job.

Now my current bloke is accusing me of holding out on him because I used to be such a player, but I’m exhausted and bored of being pawed.

Does that make sense? Maybe I should be flattered that he fancies me, but why can’t we have a normal sex life like all my current friends and colleagues?

JANE SAYS: If your man needs to be touched by other women, then I think he should start being honest about that.

Of course plenty of people go to masseurs for sports injuries and relaxation – there’s absolutely nothing untoward about that.

But his is a cloak-anddagger world. If he’s got a bad back, then why hasn’t he been able to be open about that? Why the secret visits and the lies?

Calmly talk to him again and tell him you need the truth to clear the air. If he has betrayed you, can he say why?

As for you, is this a relationsh­ip breaker or are you inclined to give him another chance?

My feeling is he’s always going to disappoint you and you will probably never really understand what makes him tick. JANE SAYS: Sex needs to be mutually respectful and enjoyable. If you’re feeling put upon and bored by your partner’s sexual appetite, then is he really the guy for you?

From what you say, you have totally differing sex drives and ambitions and are constantly at odds. I can’t believe he is any happier with you than you are with him.

If you’re not enjoying a single minute of your time together; if you’re finding him demanding, unreasonab­le and increasing­ly sleazy, then that’s all that matters.

Talk to him away from the bedroom and lay down some guidelines. Make it clear that you might have indulged in certain practices with your ex-partner, but you’re not that woman any more.

You’re not interested in sex tapes, threesomes or swinging, because that all ended very badly the last time around. Basically, you’re not “holding out” because you don’t owe him anything.

Suggest you start again on more equal terms. Sadly, if he still doesn’t understand or accept where you’re coming from, then start looking out for yourself and plan to move on, because you can’t carry on under these conditions. You’ll be filing your nails during sex next.

 ??  ?? BED AND BORED: She chooses to work Sundays so she can get away from guy’s clutches
BED AND BORED: She chooses to work Sundays so she can get away from guy’s clutches
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