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I WAS shattered last October when an old classmate moved into my street.
I’ve always hated her. She looks down at me and treats me like dirt.
She once stopped me in a youth club disco and told me that I looked like a tramp.
Now she’s back in my life and expects me to be a mate. She thinks she can automatically slot into my social life and be a part of this community.
I resent her nerve. I have a lovely circle of friends with whom I go drinking and dancing.
We also go on trips to Spain and British spas a couple of times a year.
How do I reject her without everyone else thinking I’m uncharitable? The problem is that my new mates already think she’s great.
MY ex-boyfriend was a brute. He lied all the time.
He tried to convince me that I was losing my mind.
He’d do things like hide my keys then make me spend hours looking for them. When I accused him of being cruel, he’d turn everything on its head and make out that I was the evil one.
How did I allow him to manipulate me for so long? Why was I so blind and so stupid?
One day I walked into the hall and found him going through my handbag. He had my debit card, my credit card and my watch.
When I asked him what he was doing, he grinned that he was keeping them safe for me.
I asked if he had anything else in his pockets. He did – my purse and my gold earrings.
Whipped
Yet he made me feel unreasonable for daring to question and embarrass him.
Later I allowed him to have kinky sex with me. Halfway through he whipped out his phone and started taking footage and shots of me tied to the bed.
I was so desperate for him to like me again I didn’t complain.
Now I’m living in fear of this smutty material being made public. I’m so ashamed of myself.
When I left him I literally had the clothes I was wearing on my back. I was forced to run away in the middle of the night.
My dad was waiting in a car around the corner. He whisked me away to a seaside resort miles away where I hid out for a month. My ex is with someone new now, but he still scares me.
I know he’s told mutual friends he’d like to see me again because he wants us to be friends.
Plus he insists I still owe him money from the flat we used to share, although my dad put £5,000 into his account on the day I ran.
JANE SAYS: Why should you babysit a woman who has never been nice to you?
You’re an adult, so determine to live your life your way.
Life is too short to put up with idiots.
Don’t have a showdown with her if you don’t feel up to it, but do simply sidestep her requests.
Smile sweetly, avoid her (and her calls) and carry on as if she doesn’t exist.
If your new friends like her, then let them do as they wish, but you don’t have the time to look out for anyone else.
If she actually asks you why you’re being so evasive, then remind her of the person she used to be.
Does she remember how nasty she was as a younger woman?
Does she feel she has anything to apologise for? JANE SAYS: Don’t ever allow this creep to worm his way back into your life again.
You owe him nothing and you can never be friends because he’s simply not “friend” material.
For too long you put up with his horrible behaviour and this is your time now.
From his mind games to his blatant dishonesty, you have to accept that he’s a total waste of space.
I suspect he could be charming, and he was certainly manipulative, but he’s rotten to the core beneath the skin.
Stay strong and ditch any mutual friends who are chewing your ear off. Trust your close family and true friends and surge forward.
As for the sex film, remember that revenge porn is illegal under UK law. If he posts anything of you on the internet then he could face two years in jail. Does your father need to speak to him on your behalf so he’s perfectly clear?
It’s vital that you reclaim your life and regain your confidence so that everything moves forward from now on.
Don’t allow yourself to be bullied or manipulated again.
Look at the kind of person you’re attracted to. Do you need to change your habits? Do you need to take up new hobbies and interests that will mix up your circle and finally allow you to be the person you wish to be?