Gfie jkXi cfm\i kff _fk ]fi d\
Ki\Xk\[ aljk c`b\ j\imXek NFII@<; 9P J<OP G8IK@<J CXe[cX[p `j X]k\i dp Yf[p
I’M a full-time house husband and while I’m very proud of my hard-working wife, it annoys me that she refuses to take any responsibility for our home or our extended family.
It’s completely up to me to do all shopping, cleaning and clearing up.
I not only maintain our property, but also get stuck with caring for her demanding mother and her useless sister too.
I feel utterly overwhelmed. I’m the go-to person for every whinge and hiccup. Every night I mentally flick through all the things that I have to do the next day – and none of the problems are ever mine.
My mother-in-law is a particular trial.
She demands I run around for her, yet makes no secret of the fact that she hates me. Is this fair?
I’M afraid that my new woman is too hardcore. Is she going to soon tire of me?
I adore her but I feel out of my depth. When we first met, I was warned she used to be an actress in adult films.
I looked her up and found her in all her glory. I asked her about her glamorous career and she was completely honest about all the people she’d romped with in front of the camera – and behind it.
I convinced myself that I could handle her and suggested we start dating. These days she organises sex parties for consenting adults and loves her work.
Toys
I thought she simply ran these events, but she does join in – to a certain extent – too.
She finds discreet venues for “discerning” upmarket clients and then panders to their needs – with everything from saucy cocktails and flavoured lubricants to ball pools and sex toys.
I’m fascinated by her. She insists that what she does for a living is purely business, but can our relationship ever be real when her professional life is so far removed from anything I’ve ever known?
She likes me because I run my own business and have a lot of disposable income.
She says we’re a “good fit”. But how do I introduce her to my granny or my parents who are bound to ask her what she does for a living?
I can’t help worrying that I’m in over my head here. She stresses that she has to attend these events to ensure that everything runs smoothly. And she doesn’t have full sex with anyone – that’s only for me.
She swears that she isn’t into casual sex, threesomes, swinging, or anything like that and doesn’t want me to be involved either.
She’s adamant that she keeps her private and professional lives completely separate.
JANE SAYS: You’re not super-human and you’ve got to think about your limits and your wellbeing.
Learn to start saying no to people who are draining your energy.
Your wife and home have to be your first priorities, but if your mother-in-law can’t be civil towards you, then you don’t have to put up with that.
Talk to your wife and say how you’re feeling.
Yes, you have a deal, but deals can be reviewed. Unless you start making your health and peace of mind a priority, you won’t be in a fit state to help anyone.
My feeling is you’d benefit from some interests away from the family and the home. JANE SAYS: If your girlfriend says she only has “full” sex with you, does that mean she is still being intimate with other people? I think she needs to be clear about what her limits are and what she gets up to at her parties.
And you need to decide what you’re prepared to tolerate. Only you can decide if your girlfriend’s profession is acceptable to you.
We all have to pay our bills and we get by the best we can. If this is her way of making ends meet, then are you cool with that?
Perhaps you need to keep talking to her so that everything is clear and straight in your mind.
From what I understand, she’s not asking you to join in – but how do you feel every time she goes out the door? If you’re embarrassed about being honest with your family, then maybe her world is too far away from yours.
Maybe you are out of your depth here. Ultimately you have got to be able to trust and respect her if this relationship is to flourish and succeed in the long term.
Vow to take one day at a time and just see how you get on in the coming weeks and months.
Image isn’t everything and you have to consider your mental and sexual health too.
Remaining true to yourself and your values is vital.