I FEEL genuinely sorry for my in-laws.
They’ve basically lost everything due to bad luck and poor decision-making.
In 2011 they re-mortgaged their house to prop up their eldest son’s business. It went under and their cash went with it.
Months later my father-in-law’s employer went bust and my mother-inlaw was the victim of an online scam.
They’re currently staying with us. I like them well enough, but need them to leave.
But my husband, feels we have to support them.
He knows I have a nest egg from my late grandmother and thinks I should either give them that, or let them live in our dining room.
MY gorgeous boss won’t acknowledge my love and devotion.
We have sex in his office most afternoons after he comes back from lunch.
I live for his touch. He calls me in “for a meeting” and strips me naked. We have sex over his desk, on his sofa and up against the filing cabinets.
He doesn’t say much – he’s the moody type – but his power and attitude are what turn me on.
We’ve never been out on a proper date and he pretty much ignores me the rest of the time.
I know he’s got to be careful, because he has such a lot of responsibility, but he’s been single for eight months and I just wish he’d give me a chance to prove myself as his full-time partner.
It breaks my heart when he gets in the lift without even acknowledging me. I accept I’m a long way down his list of priorities, but I’ve got needs and feelings too.
The fact is that he knows how much I adore him, because I always tell him whenever we get together.
I tell him he’s my dream guy and that I can’t imagine being with anyone else. He knows that I dumped my last boyfriend because of him.
At the moment there’s a rumour that he might be moving to a rival firm. That would break my heart.
Should I take the initiative and ask him to take me with him – as his co-worker and his equal?
I could promise him exactly the same “afternoon delight” deal as he’s getting here. What do you think? He’s so hard to read.
Should I throw my hat in the ring and tell him that I love him in the hope that he’ll finally see me for the unique person I am?
JANE SAYS: Your husband is worried about his unlucky/ foolhardy parents, but you need to explain to him that they aren’t your first priority.
Therefore, it’s No to them having your inheritance and No to them moving in.
He needs to come up with a way of helping that doesn’t involve raiding your savings and ruining your marriage.
What are other family members doing to help and support them?
You could loan them your inheritance and they would end up squandering that too.
Keep a clear head and be sure of your limits and obligations.
Your husband needs to know you love him, but that you will always ring-fence your marriage and home. JANE SAYS: What are you playing at? Wake up and get real. He’s a monster. He’s a user and a robot.
The fact of the matter is that you don’t feature at all in his life or plans. Yes, you and he have grubby sex whenever he’s feeling randy after a stuffy lunch.
But that’s as far as your “relationship” goes. If he was interested in promoting you to girlfriend, mistress or new partner, then he would have given you some indication of his feelings or your importance by now.
Sadly, all you ever get is a quick bunk-up in the boardroom followed by the cold shoulder in the corridor. How is that any way for you to live your life?
If he’s single and can’t even be bothered to tell you himself that he might be moving on, then surely that speaks volumes?
You’re hanging around, desperately waiting for the next summons, while whole chunks of your precious youth are passing you by. You may have convinced yourself that your boss is a decent guy, but he sounds very selfish, cold and calculating to me.
Be under no illusion – if he ultimately cools and decides that you’re a liability or an embarrassment, then you won’t see him again for dust.
I get it that you find him fascinating, but he really isn’t worth it.
Oh, and be under no illusion – I can assure that everyone else in the office knows exactly what is going on. Your colleagues aren’t deaf or stupid.