I FEEL very let down by an old friend who recently refused to recommend me for a job at her firm.
I did her so many favours when her children were young and she even lived with me for three months when her marriage was breaking up. She still owes me £500.
At the end of last year I lost my job in an unexpected shake-up. I was devastated.
But then my sister told me about a job at my mate’s firm.
She suggested I get my mate to speak to her boss about me. But she refused, point blank.
She told me she didn’t wish to “get involved”.
Now she thinks we can pick up our relationship and be friends again.
She keeps texting me details about films we could see together.
She’s even suggested a holiday in July.
Does she deserve to hear how angry I am?
WHEN I was a child my evil sister used to beat me up.
As a teenager she took my clothes and deliberately spoiled my make-up.
During my 18th birthday party she snogged my boyfriend – the love of my life – and had sex with him in his mate’s car.
They went on to date for six months and she never once missed an opportunity to tell me how hot and horny he was.
Now we’re adults and she’s still driving me mad. Unfortunately she’s always been our parents’ favourite child.
Apparently she nearly died at birth so my younger brother and I have never got a look in.
She’s had so much money from our mum and dad over the years it’s not funny.
Now she’s complaining because she believes that she should have a bigger house. She can’t stand the fact that my husband and I have a larger place than her.
She is demanding our parents re-mortgage their cottage in order to give her another leg up. She’s lied and told them her partner’s business is in trouble, which is just not true.
He’s still speeding around in his boy-racer sports car and flashing his cash as much as ever.
I’ve worked hard all my life and not had a penny from anyone. In the past I’ve always walked away from fights with her; I’ve tried to be the bigger, more mature, person and turned the other cheek.
But I don’t know if it’s actually done me any good. Have I been a mug for always rolling over? Do our parents finally need to hear what a tricky, lying madam she really is?
Yesterday I had my mother on the phone telling me how terribly unlucky my dear sister is. Give me strength.
JANE SAYS: Clearly you are very disappointed.
I suppose she could argue that she is entitled to her own professional life.
Maybe her own position is in doubt or she simply prefers to keep her business and private life separate.
Quite frankly, if you don’t feel like going to the cinema or joining her on a holiday, then maybe you have to accept this friendship has come to an end.
Ask for your £500 back and find someone new to hang out with. JANE SAYS: Tempting as it might be, there’s no point going head-tohead with your infuriating sister.
The fact is that you and she have never got on.
You have always rubbed each other up the wrong way and fought. But for whatever reason, your parents have a blind spot as far as your sister is concerned. In their eyes she’s always needed extra support.
It’s very sad for you if she is actually their favourite, but they clearly believe that you’re a decent person and strong enough to cope with whatever life throws at you.
Speak to them today and tell them that you hate this discrepancy and warn them to be very careful about re-mortgaging their house. But do not be tempted to sling mud because you are better than that. Can your brother speak to them too? Can he point out that they’re vulnerable and will need all of their money and their assets for the future?
Do you and he actually need to speak to a solicitor about their position?
I suspect that all your sister has ever wanted is to get a reaction out of you.
Don’t give her that satisfaction. Be cool. Carry on being selfcontained and dignified.
And be happy in the knowledge that you’ve done everything for yourself.