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I POSSESS a dark side that I’m embarrassed about.
My colleagues think I’m meek and mild, but outside work I’m a wild woman.
Sex with strangers is my thing and the rougher and grubbier a bloke is, the more I crave him.
I’ve had more bunk-ups in cheap motels and back alleys than I care to remember.
I try to avoid the internet, but every so often I crack and arrange to meet people for pure, unadulterated lust.
My conquests always say they wished their boring wives and girlfriends were more like me.
I just love the anticipation and I adore the sex, but the comedown guilt is killing me.
MY girlfriend’s drinking is ruining my life.
I’m no killjoy. I like a bevvy in front of the telly and a crazy night out along with the best of them.
But my girl’s current level of consumption is way out of my league. Not a day goes by when she’s not completely off her head.
I’ve noticed that she’s started drinking earlier and earlier too. The other day I was off work with a cold and saw her dipping into a half empty vodka bottle at 10am.
When challenged, she said it was “purely medicinal” because she felt like she was coming down with something too.
Hated
When I asked whether she should she be taking a whisky or a brandy instead, she sneered: “Fine. I’ll have one of those too” and she did…
I love the woman but hate what she’s become. I suspect she’s bored and unfulfilled, but as she’s a very proud person who always puts a brave face on everything it’s hard to get through to her.
The truth is that she’s lost. Her father died in 2015 and her mum passed away last year.
As their only child she got everything – the house, the car, the jewellery and the savings.
She never needs to work again, but has no purpose.
I can’t blame grief for her current state because she hated both of them. She virtually cheered as her mother was cremated, which was very embarrassing. Now she’s what she likes to proudly call a “lady of leisure”, but I fear she’s more of a lost soul.
By 6pm, when I get home from work, she’s a nightmare. I get told that I’m boring, weak and pathetic in bed. She roars that she wants to go out dancing.
If I dare to suggest I’m too tired or have projects to finish off, then she hits the roof – and me.
Recently she got hold of a contract I’m in charge of and attempted to set fire to it. I begged her to calm down and then she kicked me.
I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
JANE SAYS: You’ve got to find out what deep-rooted problem has set you on this destructive path.
Having sex with strangers in horrible locations can only lead to trouble and more self-loathing.
Speak to your GP as soon as possible. Explain that you’re in crisis and need help.
Any form of addictive behaviour has to be addressed and dealt with as I worry you’re playing with fire.
Do you have a close friend or relative who you can confide in?
Remember that problems never seem quite so bad when shared with someone we know and trust.
It’s clearly taken courage for you to open up about your problem.
I applaud you for that and urge you to get your life back on track. JANE SAYS: I feel sorry for your lost, troubled girlfriend, but you have to consider your own mental and physical wellbeing.
If she’s lashing out – both verbally and physically – and attempting to start fires, then you need to get out before things escalate any further.
I suspect that losing her parents was a bigger blow than she’ll ever let on. She may pretend that she hated them, but family ties are strong and complicated.
Insist she goes to her GP for professional help regarding her drinking and her grief and then make plans to get out of there. Of course you feel responsible and sorry for the woman because she’s in a terrible state.
But violence is still violence and you must find the courage to report the abuse you’ve suffered to the police.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. If your girl has regularly lashed out and hurt you then she has to be taken to task.
It’s tragic that your once good relationship has come to this, but you can’t continue to turn a blind eye. You have to act now to end this misery.