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MY girlfriend has more money than she can spend.
Her job is well paid, her rich parents still give her a monthly allowance, plus she inherited money from her grandfather too. Yet she refuses to give me a penny.
We live together and I think she should let me have some of her cash.
I’m an ideas man. I’ve got loads of plans for several brilliant businesses.
All I need is for her to have some faith in me. Is that really too much to ask?
We’re arguing and she keeps saying her savings are nothing to do with me.
But how can she watch me kick the wall with frustration when I’m bursting with entrepreneurial potential?
MY partner is pregnant, but I don’t want this kid she’s having.
I’m sorry if that makes me sound wicked, but I’m only telling the truth.
I don’t like children. I can’t stand my various nieces and nephews and cherish my peace and quiet.
When we first got together my partner told me she was unable to get pregnant after a childhood illness, so I’ve never bothered about contraception.
But two weeks ago she came to me with “some miraculous news”. She is having a baby!
And while she was dancing around the room in floods of tears, I was silently seething.
Horrible
Now I feel betrayed and trapped. This was never the deal.
She knew from the start that I am not the fathering type. Besides, why should I raise or pay for a child that I don’t want?
My own parents were absolutely useless and I had a horrible childhood. From the age of 18 I virtually raised my younger brother and sister on my own.
If it hadn’t been for my maternal grandmother, we would have starved.
These days our parents are with different partners and live abroad. I’m both relieved and glad that I can live my own life exactly as I want to. I have my sport, my mates and my routines. And that’s me sorted for life.
I keep telling my partner that I will not bend. It’s the baby or me.
Whether she has a termination now or puts the kid up for adoption, I’m not interested in the details.
She seems to think I’ll come round in the end, but I won’t.
A couple of my mates’ girlfriends and wives have tried to suggest to me that I’m being mean and cruel. How dare they?
How dare anyone interfere and tell me how I should act or feel?
JANE SAYS: Maybe it does upset you that your girlfriend is wealthy, but that’s got nothing to do with you.
She’s more astute than you give her credit for. Perhaps she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to put all of your joint eggs into one basket.
If she did give you her cash, and your “brilliant ideas” failed to pay off, then neither of you would have a penny left. Think about it.
Surely personal and business cash needs to be kept separate?
Instead of arguing, try to work together. I suspect she may have good, practical ideas.
Don’t be too proud to tap into her input.
And don’t be too quick to criticise her for being cautious and sensible either. I have to admit you’re coming across as a bit of a brat. JANE SAYS: You are an adult and an individual and entitled to your own feelings and opinions. I get it that you feel shocked right now.
In your mind a baby was never on the cards and you feel trapped and compromised. You may feel your partner has tricked or duped you, but you have to remember that it’s not the baby’s fault that it’s being born.
Besides, you may feel different once your own child is in your arms.You may wish to nurture and protect it in a way your parents never did with you.
All I’m saying is keep an open mind. You might be a natural father for all you know and don’t forget that the child is half of you.
Ultimately, you and your partner may not go the distance, but you’ll be expected to make a financial contribution to your child’s life.
It would be wonderful if you could find it in your heart to make an emotional one too.
I urge you to calm down and not make any vows or declarations that you may come to regret later.
As for you suggesting your partner has a termination or thinks about adoption, I feel that IS cruel and is an example of you overstepping the mark.
Clearly your partner is delighted to be finally pregnant, so keep a kind tongue in your head and just see what happens down the line.