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ALTHOUGH we got divorced in 2015, my ex still expects to have sex with me.
He has found a new partner but I’m still single. He thinks he’s doing me a favour by offering his sexual services.
Our kids are now 12 and 14 and he drops them back after they have stayed at his place. He always finds an excuse to come in and then suggests a quickie.
When I tell him “no” he acts as if I’ve hurt his feelings.
He can’t understand how I can possibly turn him down.
Am I ill? Have I become a lesbian?
Occasionally I give in to him just to shut him up. Then he starts telling me he loves me and hates his new partner.
That does my head in because his affair caused so much pain and upset. How do I get him to back off ?
MY bloke has got a big personality.
He’s loud, he’s brash and he’s outrageous. People either like him or loathe him.
My parents can’t stand the sight of the man whereas he’s the love of my life.
The problem is that he thinks he can say and do anything he likes – even if that means hurting and humiliating me.
During the three years we’ve been together he’s cheated on me many times.
I’ve been embarrassed by women turning up on my doorstep demanding money, others leaving their knickers in my bed and one even stalking me for weeks.
Complain
My pleas roll off him like water. He just tells me he doesn’t know what I’m talking about when I complain that I’ve found yet more lipstick on his underpants.
I’ve asked his brothers, parents and mates all to intervene on my behalf, but they’re too scared to challenge him. Everyone in his circle has a vested interest in staying on his good side.
He pays for meals, he buys all the drinks and allows those close to him to stay (for free) in his Spanish villa. His stepmother has secretly told me that she loathes the way he treats me, but her hands are tied.
If she dares to upset him, then her bills won’t be paid and her holidays will be cut – her husband wouldn’t like that.
I can actually feel people edge away from me when I dare to say one word against him. All I want is to be in an honest and mutually respectful relationship. Is that really too much to ask for?
My bloke swears he loves me then treats me like dirt, yet noone backs me up when I call him out. At the moment I’m convinced he’s sleeping with his best mate’s sister, only his pal won’t return my calls.
JANE SAYS: This isn’t funny. Your ex-husband has got no right to embarrass and bully you. Which part of “divorced” does he not understand? He’s an opportunist and a pest.
The fact he’s unhappy with his partner has nothing to do with you and it’s wrong of him to overstep the mark.
Warn him you are not interested in sleeping with him ever again.
Maybe ask a relative or friend to always be in the house with you for future handovers?
Sadly, if your ex continues to act in this way you’ll have to warn him you will notify the authorities.
It’s vital to maintain a civil relationship for the sake of your children, but don’t be used. JANE SAYS: I fear you’re fighting a losing battle.You’re never going to change or tame your largerthan-life boyfriend because he’s having a ball.
In his mind, he can do whatever he likes because his wealth and his confidence give him a free pass. Sadly, for you, too many people around your boyfriend have their noses in the trough.
From his dependent parents to his freeloading pals, no-one is going to back you up if it means jeopardising their jollies.
You need to start accepting that your boyfriend’s mates aren’t the problem.
The problem is that your fella is cheating on you and you don’t like it. So what are you going to do about it?
Instead of running to others, why aren’t you confronting him? Why are you letting him get away with upsetting you? You criticise his friends for loving the good life, but aren’t you just as guilty?
Would you let him get away with upsetting you if he didn’t have a penny to his name?
Step away from this situation and start thinking about your feelings and your limits.
If your fella openly has another woman in his life, then is this the end? I think it should be.
You must consider your sexual health, reputation and mental limits. If this man isn’t making you happy, then he has to go.