A CLOSE friend has become worthy and boring. Since being made redundant, she’s decided that she’s now a social justice warrior.
She’s very tech savvy and is all over social media spouting her thoughts, figures and petitions down our throats.
I know she’s angry and frustrated, but loads of people I know have already unfriended and deleted her.
I feel sorry for her because she needs a challenge and cause, but it’s getting to the point where I’m almost too scared to open Facebook.
She accused me of burying my head in the sand. Must I tell her to rein it in?
MY oldest friend has nicked my fella – and doesn’t care that I’m absolutely devastated.
He and I were together for four years. He was the love of my life and everything I’d ever wanted in a partner.
We were talking about moving in together, babies and a big, white wedding. Now I’m all alone and she’s parading him around our hometown like a prize pig.
She knows my heart is broken, but brushes me aside. I’ve texted her, I’ve rung her and confronted her in the street.
I’ve begged her to leave him alone, but she won’t. What gets me is that I was the one who welcomed her back and gave her a free bed when she returned from Australia at the end of last year.
We used to go to school together and always kept in touch. We were horrified when her parents first announced they were moving Down Under and she was going too.
She and I sobbed for weeks. Now she’s back, but she’s no longer the sweet little pal I grew up with.
These days she’s tough and selfish and has my darling man under her spell. I can’t believe that I trusted that cow, that I let her into my home and even lent her my clothes.
He’s telling mutual pals he’s never been happier and apparently she’s giving him the greatest sex of his life and made a new man of him.
What makes me wild is that she won’t even let me speak to him to iron this all out. She’s forced him to change his mobile number and guards him with her life.
The other day I threatened to visit their new flat-share and cause a stink. She turned nasty and started threatening me.
Suddenly I’ve gone from a woman in a normal relationship to being called a stalker. I’m out in the cold and even my parents are telling me to let go and walk away, but why should I?
JANE SAYS: She is bringing you down and you don’t need that.
I’m sure you’ve got enough worries and responsibilities without her draining your emotional energy too.
Ultimately, it’s not your job to prop her up. Be honest. Tell her that she’s too full-on for you and most others too.
Good for her if she has causes she’s passionate about, but she can’t shove them down your throats.
Warn her that she’s driving everyone away – you included.
Could you suggest she gets out from behind that computer and gets involved in local causes such as caring for the elderly, animal charities or political parties?
Also, what is she actually doing about getting back into employment?
If she has energy and ideas, then she must start helping herself. JANE SAYS: Of course you are angry, hurt and confused – who wouldn’t be? Your ex-boyfriend has run away and your ex-best friend has shafted you.
All you ever did was try to help someone you once considered a mate, but things have moved on and you must protect yourself.
Your parents are absolutely right. At the moment you’re fighting for a man who hasn’t got the guts to actually speak to you.
He’s run off with your ex-best friend and is hiding away like a pathetic wimp. You and he spent many, significant years together.
You had plans, hopes and dreams. There are adult ways of doing things and sneaking off with your childhood friend behind your back isn’t one of them.
At the moment you seem to be railing against her, but he’s the one with whom you were in a committed relationship.
If he can’t bring himself to come round and see you, or even pick the phone up and say, “I’m sorry, but it’s over”, then he isn’t worth a light. Ultimately, it sounds as if they deserve each other – he’s as weak as she’s devious.
Set yourself goals and thank your lucky stars you’re finally free of the pair of them. Your new life starts here – if you want it to.