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MY girlfriend can’t see anything wrong with having sex with other women.
She doesn’t consider it cheating and thinks I’m making a fuss.
She claims I have nothing to worry about. She swears she loves me and that we still have a future together.
It’s just that having sex with other women is something that she needs to get out of her system.
But how is this other life fair on me?
When I accuse my girl of having lesbian tendencies and cheating on me, she laughs her head off.
She just says I need to chill. She doesn’t believe in labels and I shouldn’t either.
This is all about her having fun and exploring another side of her sexuality and her personality.
I THINK about sex all the time and constantly seek out new partners.
But does that mean I have a problem? Am I a sex addict?
My last girlfriend left me a couple of months ago labelling me “weird”.
She said she didn’t understand me and didn’t like me much either. She was angry because I insisted on an open relationship as I don’t like to be tied down or to have to tell lies.
Now I’m happily single and can’t get enough action. Sex is like a drug to me.
I’m not fussy about who I sleep with either – young, old, male or female – it’s all the same to me.
As long as a person is sexy, vibrant and up for it, then I’m away. I don’t mean to boast, but suspect I’ve had over 300 lovers in my life and I’m not done yet.
Hotels
At the moment a much older woman is treating me to meals, gifts and some very raunchy nights in top hotels.
Then there’s a girl I’m seeing from work, plus all the people from my favourite hook-up sites. The world really is my oyster.
I’m not an unintelligent man. I know that no-one else in my circle acts like I do.
All of my mates and my two brothers have settled down into committed relationships.
I’m the butt of many jokes. I’m often called a slag and an old tart by the guys I love and respect – and that’s not actually a very nice feeling.
But what can I do when my natural instinct is to hunt for fresh lovers?
Going home to see my parents is inevitably a nightmare too with my mum and dad calling me names and asking me why I’m so disgusting.
This weekend I’m due home again for a big family Easter meal and I know I’ll be in for a constant ear-bashing. What is it with my runaway libido?
JANE SAYS: She’s not alone in wanting to explore her sexuality and in fancying the individual and not the gender.
That’s fine if she were a single woman. But she can’t be in a relationship with you and go with other women when she knows you don’t like it.
Cheating is cheating, no matter who it is with.
You don’t have an agreement on an open relationship, so she must decide where her loyalties lie. Her behaviour isn’t fair.
How would she like it if you said you were keen to have sex with other women – or men?
Shrugging off your objections is both immature and rude.
She needs to get off her high horse and start to listen. JANE SAYS: You need to realise that any kind of obsessive behaviour can be helped.
Your first call must be to your GP. You need to explain how your addiction to sex is affecting and ruining your life.
Despite your bravado, this is not something that is making you happy. Quite the opposite – it’s your secret shame. Find out what help is available to you and also talk about your sexual health.
Tell your younger and older lovers that you need some time out. Force yourself to leave your favourite hook-up apps alone and concentrate on getting yourself back to a better place.
The reality is that you can’t keep up this level of activity for ever. You’re in danger of burning yourself out and developing a deep and troubling self-loathing.
I suggest you go and see your parents on your own and explain you’ve reached a crossroads and finally realise you need support.
Beg them to keep the smart Alec comments to a minimum this Sunday and not embarrass you in front of everyone else.
You need to be honest with them about your problem so that everything is out in the open.
I’m sure they’ll want to help and support you in getting to a more settled place.