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IN my life I’ve been stabbed in the back so many times that I find it very hard to trust people.
I have a friend at the moment who I like to think of as more of a brother to me. He has been there a lot for me in the past few years as I have for him.
The problem is that I am constantly paranoid that he is going to do the same to me as everyone else has.
The thought of losing him is stressing him and me out.
I fear I’m going to lose my best friend because I’m constantly thinking that I can’t trust him.
I really do not want to lose him as he is like family to me and I love the guy.
Is there any advice you can give me to try and sort this situation out?
DARE I start having sex for cash?
I’m in so much debt I’m struggling to function.
Not only did I lose a fortune on my ex-brother-in-law’s failed business venture, but I owe money to all sorts of people – some of whom are not very savoury or understanding.
I’m currently single. My ex-girlfriend left me after Christmas after we rowed over my overdraft.
She was angry because I refused to embrace the budget she had drawn up and imposed on me.
She called me childish and stupid for buying myself new clothes and shoes for a stag weekend, but I had to do something to cheer myself up, didn’t I?
Horny
I still owe her £700 although she says she never wants to see me again.
A mate is coining it in by having sex for cash with older women. He says it’s easy money and that I should try it.
He reckons he could set me up with a couple of cougars, no trouble. I’ll clear my debts in a few months and be laughing.
I’ve quizzed him on every aspect of the business and he swears it’s a doddle. The female clients are loaded, horny and grateful.
He’s super discreet, reasonable and very open-minded and hasn’t had any complaints so far.
My mate claims that he’s absolutely loaded, that he’s got more money than he knows what to do with. I crave that peace of mind.
Could his saucy solution be the answer to my prayers? I wouldn’t say I’m the most moral person in the world, but even I am anxious about the prospect of getting naked with a complete stranger for money.
JANE SAYS: I urge you to talk to your friend and simply be honest.
Explain that you haven’t had the easiest life and that you’ve been left down and disappointed by people in the past.
Ask him to realise that if ever you’re clingy or edgy it’s because you feel vulnerable and scared. You’re having a bad time and just need a little space and understanding.
We’re none of us perfect and just have to get through the days the best we can.
Remember, also, that not everything is about you. No doubt he has problems and insecurities of his own to deal with too.
Consider his feelings and determine not to drag him down. JANE SAYS: Do you believe everything people tell you?
This mate of yours sounds very full of himself and very busy, but what’s his agenda? How does helping you help him?
Stop taking everything he says at face value because his suggestion sounds too good to be true.
You have absolutely no way of knowing what really goes behind closed doors, what humiliations he has to endure, and I don’t suggest you find out either.
The reality is that he is selling himself and I do not care how he dresses it up. He’s a sex worker – a male prostitute.
Walk away and sort out your problems properly. Work out what you owe, and to whom.
What’s wrong with taking on extra work? Or selling some of the stuff you’ve recently purchased?
It sounds like your ex-girlfriend had your measure. That proper budget was a good idea, why weren’t you prepared to even give it a try? From now on you have to be prepared to tackle your problems like an adult and learn from your past mistakes.
Whatever happens you must not be persuaded to do something that will ultimately plunge you into a deeper pickle.
Things may seem desperate right now, but there is always a way forward if you’re prepared to work hard, make sacrifices and compromise.
Check out National Debtline at nationaldebtline.org regarding your problems and stop thinking that shortcuts are the answer.