MY girlfriend and her phone are no longer a joke.
I’m absolutely sick of her staring at it when we’re having a night out.
She looks at it walking round the park, on the beach and even in shops.
The other night we went to the cinema and she kept whipping it out in there too. Inevitably the bloke behind had a go at her, which resulted in a row, but he was quite right to complain.
She’s a pain. If she’s not checking social media, then she’s playing games.
She knows it drives me mad, but nothing I say makes any difference.
During my sister’s engagement dinner, she carried on texting all through my dad’s speech until he actually asked her to put it away, which reflected badly on me.
Of course I have a phone of my own.
But perhaps I’m old-fashioned in thinking there’s a time and a place for everything. Don’t you?
MY new boyfriend expects me to look and behave perfectly at all times.
The stress is killing me. He loves to introduce me as his “high-maintenance, Queen Bee, other half ”.
I smile and nod, but making an effort really isn’t me. I long for leggings, a sloppy T-shirt and my hair in a scrunchy, but I’ve made a rod for my own back.
When he and I first met I was working in an exclusive jewellery store. I was expected to wear smart suits, high heels and full make-up at all times.
I looked like a plastic doll. I was the top salesperson because I can sell anything.
One day my new boyfriend walked in and said his boss needed something special to give his wife. He had a large amount of money to spend, so I helped him to pick out a gorgeous necklace.
One thing led to another and we ended up going for a drink. I was still in my work clothes and he kept on and on about how polished and glamorous I looked.
I was fresh out of a messy breakup with my ex and felt flattered and appreciated.
That was four months ago and he’s still banging on about how perfect I am. He’s never glimpsed a furry leg, a fuzzy bikini line or a stray eyebrow either.
Any time we meet I am immaculately presented.
Any time he stays over, I get up at 6am so that I can look fresh and sexy for when he wakes up. Even after sex I dive straight into the shower for a quick freshen up.
Sadly I don’t have the confidence to go bare because I believe he has very high expectations.
I hate the idea of being a trophy girlfriend but that’s what my friends say I’m becoming.
These days I work in a call centre selling wine, which is far more casual, but my boyfriend would be very disappointed if I dressed or acted like my crazy colleagues.
How do I get myself out of this exhausting rut?
I dread the idea of being single again as he’s a wonderful lover and so brilliant in many other ways.
JANE SAYS: What is so telling is that you’ve asked your girlfriend to stop looking at her phone when she’s with you – and she hasn’t taken any notice.
Does she not care what you think?
The problem is that if she’s isn’t prepared to change, there can’t be much respect left.
There’s absolutely nothing old-fashioned about wishing for her undivided attention.
You’re an individual and you’re entitled to your own opinion. JANE SAYS: The fact is that you can’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You’re not perfect and neither is your guy.
Clearly things are coming to a head and you have to cut yourself some slack before you drive yourself crazy. He has to hear that you are not a shop floor dummy.
Yes, you looked absolutely amazing that day he walked into that exclusive jewellery store.
Besides, that was then and this is now and you’re no longer that employee. You’ve moved on and settled into a new, less formal commercial environment.
You’re a living, breathing person with only so much energy and so many hours in the day.
Start gently by easing off. Tone down your look without apology or explanation. Hopefully he’ll be mature and realistic enough to understand that it’s the person inside that really matters.
Sadly, if he genuinely has a problem with the real “you”, there’s a bigger problem in this relationship. He’s not the only guy in the world and you will find love again.