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MY mate always has to turn everything into a competition.
At this time of year it’s: Who is going on the best holidays? Who has expensive festival tickets? Or who has the trendiest summer clothes?
This year for her lavish birthday party in July she’s providing a blow-up swimming pool and having a mojito mixologist and champagne tent.
That’s on top of the professional caterers and waiting staff.
I simply can’t compete with her.
My bloke and I are planning to get engaged in September and he’s keen for us to host a garden party at his parents’ house, but I’m just embarrassed.
Why does she have to make life so difficult for me?
THE day I caught my girlfriend in bed with another man was the worst of my life.
They were both half naked and surrounded by champagne bottles and sex toys.
She was on top of him and he looked at me like I was a piece of dirt.
I screamed at her: “It’s him or me.” She replied: “Bye.”
I glared at her and hissed: “I’m not joking. This is a serious ultimatum.”
An hour later I was sitting in the back of a taxi with my bags packed around me. I told the cabbie that I’d just left my beautiful, rich, sex goddess of a girlfriend – and he called me a mug.
Drunk
Now I’m sleeping on a mate’s floor. I no longer have access to my ex-girlfriend’s great flat, car or expensive lifestyle.
She’s blocked me from social media and none of her friends are returning my calls. I feel like such a loser.
My brother tells me that she’s not even with the bloke she bonked. She dumped him the day after I left and is now bragging to everyone about how she’s loving the single life.
She’s going to Ibiza with the girls in July and out to Los Angeles with her sisters in August.
All I want is to go back with her but I can’t get near.
The other night I was desperate and got very drunk. I thought it would be a really good idea to go round to her place and bang on the door. I was screaming I loved her and that we needed to talk. Minutes later her brothers appeared and suggested I move on.
I’m afraid that I got silly and threatened one of them and now I’m terrified that they’re going to come after me.
My life is a mess. I’m lonely, broke and could kick myself for being such an idiot.
Yes, I was upset when she cheated, but with hindsight I should have let it go, shouldn’t I?
JANE SAYS: You need to remember that you and your friend are very different people.
If she has deeper pockets than you and loves entertaining, then it’s up to her what kind of party she hosts.
I suspect she gets a huge kick out of treating her mates and putting on a show.
Remember that no-one is forcing you to attend her July bash, but I suspect she’d be upset if she found out that you resent her ideas and generosity.
As for your engagement party, it’s not a competition. Plan it the way you want it and just be yourself.
Ultimately, if you actually believe that your friend and her big plans are beginning to bring you down, then has your friendship run its course? JANE SAYS: Everyone has their limit and you reached yours when you discovered your ex-girlfriend in bed with someone else. You acted instinctively and honestly.
Quite understandably you were hurt and humiliated. You asked her to make her choice and she dumped you. I always say that ultimatums of any sort have to be issued with extreme caution.
But what other choice did you have? Short of rubbing your face in the gutter, what more could she have done to show her contempt and crush you?
Now she’s living the single life and you’re miffed, but you cannot allow her wealth and confidence to blind you to the fact that she was a cheat who wasn’t actually a very nice person in the first place.
You and she may have enjoyed some fun meals and parties together, but bringing another man into the bed you shared together was cruel and low.
I’m afraid that you have to forget your ex because she’s history and start concentrating on your own future. What are you going to do next? What is your plan? After all, everyone needs a plan.
Keep away from her property (and her brothers) but do report them to the police if ever you feel in any kind of serious danger.