?lik Yp d`jj`e^ `em`k\j

I GET on well with my son and daughterin-law. They only live five miles away and visit us every Sunday for a roast lunch.

But I’m aware they host parties and gatherings to which we’re never invited.

There are no secrets – my daughter-in-law will talk about the barbecue or New Year’s Eve party they’re planning and it doesn’t cross her mind to include us.

We’re not old – we’re very young at heart and always invite them (and her mother) to anything we host.

So why doesn’t it cross her mind to return the favour?

She’s now planning our son’s birthday party and I think we should be included. JANE SAYS: I’d have thought being invited to your own son’s birthday bash would be a given, especially as you see so much of him and his wife.

Why don’t you tell both of them that you’re always up for a party?

Explain that you won’t embarrass them or curb anyone’s style, but would like to help celebrate. It could be that your daughter-inlaw feels you might not fit in with her crowd.

If so, promise to help out and mingle, while staying on your best behaviour.

However, if you’re starting to feel that it’s all one-way traffic with them then you need to have a private word with your son about how unhappy you are.

Tell him you have no wish to crash his life or cramp his style.

But basic manners have to apply in certain circumstances.