I THOUGHT I’d be able to cope with an open relationship.

My parents were old hippies who always had male and female lovers in and out of our house.

They taught me there are no rules when it comes to sex and love.

But I’m uneasy with my current lover because I worry that he’s using me to keep his ultra-traditional parents quiet.

I fear that I’m nothing but a front. I’m the respectable one he wheels out whenever there’s a family wedding or celebration.

But behind their backs he sleeps with other men and women.

It’s not that I’m jealous – it’s more that I don’t like his attitude towards me. I swear I once heard him refer to me as “useful”, which isn’t very flattering. JANE SAYS: You’re looking at your partner in a new light and questioning everything about the relationship you have carved out for yourselves.

Do you feel as though you’re nothing but your partner’s cover story?

Insist on a serious conversation so you can start to understand what’s going on.

An open relationship isn’t for everyone.

You thought you’d be able to handle such an arrangement because you were brought up by parents with an alternative mindset.

But if the reality is that your lover needs you to present a certain image to his parents, and you’re not happy in that role, then you need to move on.

It’s not your job to cover his back, if you don’t feel you’re being given the respect or attention you deserve.