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MY girl has turned into a neat freak.
The smell of bleach is doing my head in.
I’m not allowed to plonk myself on the sofa without being barked at to mind the cushions and not make a mess.
Tension is at an all-time high as I can’t relax. She won’t have visitors over and we’re not having sex because it’s too messy.
On her birthday I tried to woo her with champagne and an early night. I stripped off and stuck a rose between my teeth for a laugh. But she took one look at my naked body and growled that I was filthy and disgusting.
{Picky
She never used to be like this. When I first met her she was fun and carefree, we made love all over the place, but she’s become so picky and uptight.
The other night I dared to bring in a Chinese takeaway and she hit the roof.
She claims I got grease on the carpet and made the whole house stink.
I wasn’t allowed to put the empty containers in the kitchen bin – instead I was forced to shove everything in a black bag in the boot of my car and take it round to my dad’s house. That’s how house proud she’s become.
I wish we’d never left our old flat. We only moved when both of her parents were killed in a car crash and she inherited a large sum.
We’re now living in a detached house, which we’ve done up from scratch. It looks beautiful but she’s become obsessed with keeping it immaculate, which I find unsustainable.
How do I get her to calm down and stop being so obsessive and retentive?
I have suggested that she is still mourning for her parents who she never properly grieved for but she won’t accept that anything is wrong.
If anything, she’s now talking about redoing the kitchen for a second time because she wants everything to be pure white. JANE SAYS: It sounds as if your girlfriend has a huge number of unresolved issues. Losing her parents unexpectedly must have been devastating for her.
Her solution to the shock was to throw herself into upgrading your new house.
She used her considerable energy and anger to create the perfect home, but now she is going way over the top.
I suspect she’s someone who was used to feeling loved and secure but suddenly feels orphaned and scared. Keeping the house clean is her only way of maintaining control but she’s throwing her time away.
Yes, of course, we all feel better Picture posed by model living in a clean and ordered environment but no form of extreme behaviour is ever desirable or healthy.
I suggest you sit her down and tell her that you can’t go on like this – something has to give.Your house has stopped feeling like a home, it’s more like a museum and that is not how you wish to live your life.
Ask her to consider her mental health in the light of her parents’ death and seek help from her GP.
Make it clear that you’re willing to support her but need love, sex and respect back in return. Is that something you can work on?