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@ K?@EB K?<PËI< CFM<IJ
MY boyfriend always goes out of his way to drive me crazy.
For example, I’ve asked him not to bring booze into my flat because I’m on the wagon.
Back in March I finally admitted to myself I have a problem with alcohol. I can’t tolerate it.
It turns me into a very aggressive person and one drink is never enough I have to have another and keep going.
But he simply will not respect my wishes. If anything he’s drinking even more these days – and right in front of me, too.
He’s forever wafting a chilled glass of rosé under my nose going: “Come on, you know you want it.”
Fight
It’s the same with smoking and soft drugs. I’m determined to clean up my life, but he seems to want to fight and tempt me at every turn. He thinks it’s funny.
At the moment he’s asking if a girl from his work can rent our spare room for six months. I don’t trust this plan one bit.
Yes, we could do with the extra cash, because he knows I’d like to get married next year. But I’ve got a horrible feeling that he’s testing me yet again.
I think he may already have had sex with her. I can’t help but feel that he’s deliberately trying to push my buttons here.
It seems as if he’s doing everything in his power to bring me to boiling point.
Sometimes I wonder if he actually wants to spend the rest of his life with me at all. I know that some people get cold feet before they’re due to settle down and I understand that.
But the fact that he refuses to get involved in planning our future or talking about marriage or children worries me. Why is he so unreasonable and cruel? What’s he trying to achieve? JANE SAYS: Why are you making life so hard for yourself?
Why are you staying with a man who seems to go out of his way to upset you?
Sadly, on an every day level, he has no respect or regard for you. He deliberately does things that he knows upset you.
From tempting you with cigarettes and booze to wafting soft drugs in front of your nose, he’s one messed up clown.
Now, to suggest his female friend from work moves into your precious home is puzzling in the extreme.
Why would he expect you to share your sanctuary, your private space, with her? I feel this is an attempt at provocation.
If he’s too cowardly to admit that his feelings have changed, then you need to take the upper hand and put this whole farce to an end. I know it’s humiliating, terrifying and inconvenient but what other choice do you have?
The man clearly doesn’t care about your mental health or safety, so you have to start putting yourself first by getting out.
Regarding your drinking, I’m full of admiration for the determined stance you’re taking.
It’s great that you know your own mind and limitations.
However, if you feel you can’t stay off the booze on your own, then don’t be too proud to seek help and support via your GP.