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MY man keeps coming up with excuses not to marry me.
He first proposed three years ago and presented me with a gorgeous ring.
But a few months later he said he’d have to postpone any wedding because his dad was ill. Of course, I said I understood.
Then his dad got better but his mum went off with another woman. Eventually I asked if we could set the date for June 21 of last year.
For a few weeks he was enthusiastic, but then things got difficult at his work and he called yet another halt.
Gutted
Now I’ve found out he’s secretly booked up to go and visit his brother in Australia for Christmas. They’re planning to travel around, drink beer and hang out – and I haven’t been invited.
I’m absolutely gutted. I can’t believe he’s being so sneaky. All I want is an honest, normal life.
I don’t need a fancy wedding or fireworks, I simply crave a nice home, children and a partner I can trust.
The other night I was pouring my heart out to his sister and she sort of hinted that I might be, well, boring.
We were both quite drunk, but more than once she suggested that her brother (my bloke) was finding me tedious and dull.
Now I feel like utter rubbish. I’ve got a horrible feeling that they’ve all been talking about me behind my back.
I don’t fancy sex and I feel I’m being used. I’ve told my bloke that the Australian trip is selfish, but he just shrugs.
His only argument is that the £3,000-plus he’s spending on the trip is nowhere near as much as a full-blown wedding.
It’s all a massive slap in the face. Being a bride, wife and mother is all I’ve ever dreamed off and I feel as though he’s treating me like a complete fool.
JANE SAYS: Stop seething and start talking.
Ask your man a second time to explain himself. Does he think he’s being reasonable or fair? Try and keep things civilised and avoiding using words like selfish (especially if he’s using his own earnings to fund this trip).
But do ask him if he can understand why you’re feeling confused and miffed.
Ultimately, if getting married isn’t important to him and if he simply pays you lip service to avoid a fuss, then maybe now is the time for him to finally start being honest about his long-term plans.
Is he interested in the wedding and the settled future you yearn for? Or has this relationship actually run its course? What you can’t do is allow yourself to be strung along or fobbed off.
Is this planned trip to Australia a relationship-breaker? If it is, stand up for yourself and tell him you need to think about moving on.
As for his sister suggesting that you’re boring, how dare she?
What’s boring about having solid future plans and needing to know where you stand?
Am I correct in thinking that both he and she are capable of intimidating and even bullying you? Think about it.