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LOVE Island is the summer gift that keeps on giving. Cheating, lying little witch Georgia endeared herself a tiny bit more by telling “host” Caroline Slack to “f*** off”. Possibly the most intelligent thing she’s said. Ever.
Actually make that definitely. The 20-year-old (with presumably at least 12 years of education) also asked whether a carpenter laid carpets.
Such a shame no-one asked her to describe a shag pile without looking in the mirror.
YOU know the best thing to do when you’re facing a really
big, scary problem?
Ooh, let’s think. Tackle it head on and get the mess sorted?
Or go on a lovely long holiday – say seven weeks – and stick your head in the sand. Literally.
If you’re an ordinary mortal you don’t really have that choice do you? You’ve really just got to own up to your responsibilities and run things to the best of your ability.
Amazingly the Muppet show from hell running this country actually dared to consider giving themselves an extra five days holiday to dodge sorting the whole Brexit mess they’ve created.
Even more incredibly they saw sense for once and called off the potential vote at the 11th hour last night. Conversion on the road to Tuscany if you like.
Not because they had a crisis of conscience – they don’t even know the meaning of that – but because they realised it would make all of us hate them even more than we do. And that’s a lot.
In theory the idea was to do with Theresa May surviving a possible no-confidence vote over her handling of leaving the EU.
If she packs her Goretex and walking boots now she can carry on trampling all over Brexit on her autumn return.
Now, instead of breaking up Parliament tomorrow, they’ll be going next Tuesday as planned – meaning there’s time for BoJo to create more havoc.
The Government defended the extended jollies idea and massive U-turn by saying “there wasn’t much to discuss” next week. Not even the little matter of the UK’s complete meltdown?
Um? You can’t move for that bloody ‘B’ word. Are they seriously suggesting they’ve got nothing more to say on it? Look don’t get me wrong I am beyond bored with the whole thing.
After the escapism of the World Cup it feels like we’re tearing ourselves apart. The hatred and anger between Leavers and Remoaners is depressing.
Labour MPs branded the holiday vote a “disgrace”. But they’re so bad they can’t even capitalise on the pig’s ear the Tories are making. Would they do any better?
Second referendum? Corbyn landslide? No deal Brexit? More Chequers cobblers? My head is about to explode.
Seriously lost track of the number of ministers who resigned over the past few days. Remainer Guto Bebb was the latest. Whatever. Bloke who sounds like a bowel problem tries to make a dramatic movement (snigger). And a nation shrugs.
Meanwhile swivel-eyed MP Anna Soubry went on a rant that pretty much implied the 17.4million who voted for Brexit were racist idiots and we’d die horribly if we left the cosy club of the EU money pit. Death might be a welcome relief the way things are going. Which brings us back to that holiday. Even though they bottled the extra week they’re still off until October, claiming the reason they disappear for summer (while most of us are lucky to get a fortnight) is they work unsociable hours.
Oh get over yourselves you arrogant twits. What about all the underpaid, overworked souls who put in exhausting shifts for the NHS and emergency services? Or those grafting in factories and call centres 24/7? Can you imagine the Grenfell firefighters saying the job looked a bit tricky and walking away?
Tory MP Sir Nicholas Soames said that, in 35 years, he’s never known such a truly unpleasant and deeply uncertain time in Parliament. “So very difficult to see a way ahead.” He mournfully confessed.
Really? Well why don’t you all go and relax on a sun lounger and think about it for a month or two. Or you could stay and SORT IT OUT... just a thought.