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MY boyfriend has pictures of naked women on his phone.
Some are professional models and porn stars, but others are real women from his work and online chat rooms.
I am struggling to cope with his behaviour. I think it’s disgusting and disloyal.
He says it’s perfectly normal. He reckons that all of the blokes he knows have sexy pictures on their phones. It’s modern and completely harmless.
But I see he’s stored hundreds on his handset.
I know his passcode. Most of the time he has his phone gripped in his hand, even when he goes off to the loo.
Accused
But sometimes, just occasionally, he’ll leave it on the coffee table and that’s when I pounce and have a good scroll through.
Recently he was on the landline to his boss for ages and I was able to go right back through his stored photos.
There were topless snaps from the receptionist from his old job, naked shots of his ex-PA and even a few images of his last female boss touching herself.
He walked in and caught me out and just laughed.
He said that if I’m so insecure that I care about a few silly pics, then that’s my problem.
With that he went out drinking with his mates leaving me seething. Later he came home and suggested an early night, but I turned him down flat. I accused him of thinking about other women while having sex with me. I ranted that he was a pervert and a “mental cheat”.
Again he grinned in my face and told me to get a life. He slept on the sofa where I’m sure he was probably looking at porn until the early hours.
I don’t think I’m paranoid or wrong, do you? I don’t have any pictures of naked men on my phone and don’t want any.
Now I really don’t know what I mean to him any more or where I stand. How can he love and respect me when he gets his kicks from looking at other girls? JANE SAYS: Maybe it is very “modern” of your boyfriend to have pictures of other women on his phone, but if you don’t like it, then you’re entitled to speak out.
OK, maybe it’s one thing downloading pictures of professional models and porn stars from the internet.
But how did these images from his ex-boss and former colleagues come about? Did he request them? Did these women voluntarily ping them over?
Also, can he assure you that he’s never been physically or emotionally involved with these individuals? What’s worrying is that he doesn’t even respond when you pick up his phone because he doesn’t care about being caught out. If anything, he seems proud of his vast collection.
Can you continue with a man who seems to be living a whole other life and appears indifferent to your happiness?
He isn’t the only guy in the world and if he isn’t making you happy, and you can’t trust him, then you need to think about moving on.
Keep talking. Can you come back from this? Does he actually value you?