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MY girlfriend is too selfish to have the baby I crave.
I’m much older than she is and really desperate to become a dad.
All of my mates have little ones and I know I’m missing out.
I can’t wait for Saturday morning football, swimming galas and camping trips.
But she says that pregnancy would ruin her social life. How could she possibly go out drinking with her friends with a baby in tow?
This summer she’s already enjoyed a week in Italy and a fortnight in Los Angeles.
Boring
Now she’s booked a last minute trip to Ibiza with her sister – and she couldn’t do any of that with a “sprog”, could she?
Besides, she’s adamant that babies are too expensive and boring. Apparently her ex-best friend having twins was what destroyed their life-long friendship.
She’s also seen what having children has done to her stepmother and female cousins and she’s not buying it.
I’ve even said that I’ll work from home and do all the nappy changes and night feeds myself, but she will not meet me halfway.
I love her dearly but am really struggling to respect this point of view. I think she’s selfish.
Surely there is more to life than getting drunk or sunbathing?
For me, sex ultimately equals pro-creation. Sadly, she doesn’t think like that. With her, sex is about kinky thrills and excitement. Don’t get me wrong, I like to enjoy myself too, but sometimes I find her attitudes shallow.
Is she ever going to change and become a more rounded woman – and possible mother?
Things aren’t helped by the fact that my family cannot stand her, they’ve branded her the Love Island Reject and the Gold Digger – and that stings. JANE SAYS: Not every woman is the same and if your current partner isn’t interested in getting pregnant and becoming a mother, then good luck to her. I’m certainly not going to condemn her for telling the truth and being herself. What you have to face up to now is that she’s not the girl for you.
If you want children and a woman who is willing to put her career, friends and social life on hold, then you need to find someone new.
She has been frank with you, now you need to start being honest with yourself by moving on.
Otherwise, you’ll lose all respect for each other and things may become bitter or nasty.
Your current girlfriend certainly knows her own mind. She has got her life just as she wants it. She’s happy with her friends and her trips.
She’s not interested in settling down and having kids. That doesn’t make her selfish – just true.
It would be terrible if she got pregnant with a child she didn’t want.
Having a baby and becoming a mother is a massive, life-long commitment.
Obviously, it’s something you feel you’re ready for. Now start planning the next stage of your adventure.