what about paul chuckle teaming up with dec donnelly, to present im a celebrity. They could be the greatest double act since sam fox and mick fleetwood at the 1989 brits! Sheila

Ant Mcpartlin is crafty not wanting to earn money again until next year when his divorce wil be finished. Wise Ged

Great news that Ant & Dec show is axed. ITV need to move on from those two talentless idiots. Jed

that bloke who wants to take snaps of soap stars feet, he’s most likely sick of seeing their screwed up faces as they lurch from one crisis to another with the gloomy scripts. BoltonFaz

woman goes to the dentist and says to the man, I would rather have a baby than have a tooth pulled. Make your mind up says the dentist before I lower the chair! coco, wigton, cumbria

the inventor of the throat lozenge died yesterday – there will be no coffin at his funeral.

TATS

Head groundsman required must be familiar with the grass roots of football. OWEN GOAL

I’ve started calling my son John the Exorcist – every time he visits me he makes the spirits disappear! funky

Some people are behind the times. Others are behind the Daily Star. Lorraine. Kent

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