I’VE never liked the noises my girlfriend makes on the point of orgasm. I’ve always found her too loud, too annoying and too crass.

Once we were in a hotel and she screamed so theatrically that the manager came up and asked us to keep it down.

Now she’s admitted that she’s never actually experienced an orgasm with me – she’s faked it every single time for the past four years.

The truth only came out during a drink with pals.

We were acting out lines from our favourite movies and she did the orgasm scene from When Harry Met Sally.

Our friends were astonished she was so good when she casually tossed in: “Well, I have had four years of practice”. How am I supposed to take that? JANE SAYS: I just think it’s a real shame that your girlfriend has been faking it for four, long years. She’s missed out on so much.

She’s been a fool to herself. She should have told you how she felt so that you could have worked on this matter together.

It’s often said that women need up to 45 minutes of stimulation before the point of orgasm. If you two have been rushing things and not including enough lubrication or foreplay, then no wonder she’s felt the need to play a role.

Suggest you get back to basics. What can you do for her? Would some early nights, erotic fiction or sex toys help?

Ask her to articulate her needs so that you can enjoy pleasurable climaxes together.

Also, point out that humiliating you in front of your friends wasn’t fair or kind.