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K?<I<ËJ ALJK EF <J:8G<
AM I the only person on the planet who hates everything about sex?
It currently feels as though the whole world is obsessed with it.
You cannot turn on the TV without someone talking about it. Sexy pictures of girls in the media turn my stomach, while muscle-bound guys with taut sixpacks make me laugh.
I don’t fancy anyone and I don’t want anyone touching me – but I fear that makes me an oddity in swinging 2018.
My partner is a wonderful woman and I love her but a platonic relationship would suit me fine at my time of life, I am 34.
Frustrated
We don’t want children, so I no longer see the point of intimacy. My heart sinks whenever she starts to touch me and gets that particular glint in her eye.
I frantically come up with every excuse under the sun in order to put her off. From migraines to a bad leg, I’ve been through the medical card as far as she is concerned.
Unfortunately she doesn’t want a sexless relationship and gets angry and frustrated when I don’t want her. This leads to conflict and rows.
I don’t mean to be cold, but the sweaty process of swapping bodily fluids is just not for me.
When I was a younger man I had girlfriends from the age of 16. I slept with all of them, because that was what they expected, but I never enjoyed myself. I always felt I was faking my performance and my reactions. My partner and I met at work. She was going through a horrible divorce and I was her shoulder to cry on.
We used to meet in the canteen every day and she credits me with saving her life during some very dark times.
Her ex-husband was abusive and controlling and we were pals for years before we ended up in bed together.
Now she is my rock but I know that I frustrate and disappoint her with my lack of passion and sex drive. However, I can’t pretend to be something I’m not, can I? I’m absolutely not gay. JANE SAYS: We’re all individuals and we’re all different. A lot of people can take or leave sexual contact.
That doesn’t make you odd or weird, simply someone who knows their own mind.
But I don’t think it’s fair of you to keep fobbing off your partner when she craves sexual love.
I get the impression the poor woman is climbing the walls; she loves and trusts you, but can’t understand why you continue to reject her.
The danger is that if you keep pushing her away without giving any kind of explanation, then her confidence and self-worth will start to plummet. She’s going to think there’s something wrong with her and assume that you no longer love her. Have the long overdue conversation with her.
If you actually need to see your GP for a physical check up, then book a double appointment with a doctor you’re comfortable with and be honest about the act of sex as well as your mental attitude towards it.
Ultimately, only your partner can decide whether this situation is good enough for her in the long term, but she has to know where she stands.