DAD PENS BRUTAL CV FOR LAZY DAUGHTER
Joker labels Lauren, 16, messy & rude
THE prankster dad of a 16-year-old schoolgirl awaiting her GCSE results tomorrow has prepared a brutally honest CV for her.
Lauren Moore’s father Ian told potential employers she was “lazy”, “messy”, “ignorant” and “rude” – and always turned up late.
But he said that she was very good at “f***ing things up” when she helped out as an office assistant at his company, where her responsibilities included “browsing on Facebook, not listening and getting on her father’s t*ts”.
He also poked fun at his teenage daughter’s communication skills, claiming that she specialised in losing “all documentation” – and “giving out client’s information to fraudsters. Listing her other work experience as “gardening”, he said she was very good at “digging holes looking for gold”.
But he implied she would be a health and safety nightmare on the factory floor.
“Chopping colleague’s toes off with a spade” was one of the hapless youngster’s “duties” according to the prank document.
He went on to say that Lauren, a pupil at Rye Hills School, in
Redcar, North Yorks, “doesn’t do mornings”, “hates people” and is a “typical 16-year-old”.
Then he suggested that anybody wanting a further reference should contact her
“probation officer Ben Dover”.
Fortunately, Lauren, who lives in a £150,000 three-bedroom house, saw the funny side of her dad’s gag and posted the spoof CV on Twitter.
She told her followers: “Remind me not to let my dad do my CV for me.”
The amused teenager said he was “trying to get on my good side by being unfunny” and added: “The weirdo!”
Lauren’s Twitter friends also thought the CV was hilarious.
One of her pals commented: “This is so funny giving out all clients information to fraudsters.” Another said: “I’m screaming.” And a third tweeted: “I’m creased.”